Moozann's Mind

2012-02-11T01:57:00.001-05:00

7 Quick Takes
This week in review:

1. I started the week frazzled because I'm hosting our Small Group Bible Study for the first time in a year and while they all love me, my house is beyond out of control. I knew it would be a hectic week.

2. I'm trying to schedule a myriad of baptism councelling sessions. I'm currently having a blast as a temporary fill in Children's Ministry director. While I'm loving it, I'm not enjoying the pressure of knowing these kids are counting on me. But it's really God, so that helps. He doesn't actually need me, he just allows me the privilege of assisting Him.

3. Speaking of church, I'm extremely excited with the direction we are headed in Children's Ministry. Praying our new pastor, whomever that may be, is as well.

4. My oldest is 12 today. Man, that really makes you think. We are 2/3 of the way there and there is so much still to teach him!

5. Thursday proved my insanity as I willingly had 11 children in my home. One immobilized with a broken leg. Yeah, I'm crazy. They were good AND I cleaned my dining room. Wow!

6. Our annual Homeschool Valentine's Day party was today. I didn't get to go because my fuel pump went out in my van. $$$ ahead to repair it. Glad my hubby is so handy.

7. My unexpected day home made a huge change in my stress level. Great day with my kids who didn't groan about not going. The oldest isn't even groaning about missing the day at his grandparents' for his birthday.

God knows how to make me stop when He wants me to.

Here is Birthday Boy posing with a space suit at The Children's Museum.

WoW - Possessing Beauty

2012-02-10T12:26:00.003-05:00

The Write on Wednesday Spark: Possessing Beauty
Write about a collection. Write about something you or ,someone you know, collects. Think about the "why" behind the collection - why is it important to collect this particular thing? How does it make the person feel to add another piece to their collection? Is the group of objects there to be seen, to be studied or simply kept together? Write a real life story or a piece of fiction. Wherever the prompt takes you...Keep your post on the short side: up to 500 words OR a 5 minute stream of consciousness exercise. Link your finished piece to the list and begin popping by the other links. Oh, and enjoy!

*****

People collect all sorts of things. There are shows on television devoted to the strange and odd, sometimes even creepy things that people collect. Then there are shows about valuable and antique items that are collected. After watching some of these shows, my children have become collectors. They choose to collect whatever item strikes their fancy. Some days it is glass bottles found in our woods. Other times it is cardboard boxes. They've collected rocks, key chains, practically any and all things they have encountered have become parts of a budding collection, often a collection of only one.

My children ask me if I have ever collected anything. As a child I remember someone asking me what I collected and deciding, at that moment, that I collected panda bears. That was a collection that lasted for a long time. But as college and marriage days came, panda collecting days faded. So, the question posed to me, do you collect anything now?

After pondering a moment, I must say yes. I collect children. The comment originally received it's expected chuckles as it is funny, to me at least. I certainly do seem to collect them. In fact, on the day that this particular conversation was going on with fellow WoWer Mi2, I had in my collection 11 children. Sure, they aren't all mine, 5 of them eventually left that day. But it struck me that I do collect children. My personal collection consists of 6. Priceless, unique and adorable each one. And extremely fragile. Not only are they physically breakable, as my dear friend can attest, but they are emotionally breakable, a thought which makes one look seriously at the responsibility associated with such a collection.

Do these children count as a collection? Well let's first ponder: Why do people collect things? For a sense of gathering beautiful items they love around them? Well, my children certainly acheive that. They bring beauty into my life unlike anything I've ever known.

People collect for the "value" of items. My children's value is beyond compare. They are worth more than their weight in gold. They bring more pleasure than any item I've ever owned. They bring more joy than any "stuff" I could acquire.

Collectors enjoy using their collections to fill their free time. Again, with my collection, there is no extra free time to fill, my collection can consume it all (if I allow it to).

Some people perhaps collect to create a lasting memorial to their time on earth, a way of insuring their lives meant something, their time was well used to gather priceless or original items in a unique way. Perhaps to leave a memorial, people will remember them when they see items of their collection. When I am gone, the 6 children in my collection will continue to pass on the legacy of their childhood. The things that they learned will be a part of them, their children, my grandchildren and our family line, forever. I will be remembered when they see my children, grandchildren.

I would say, my collection fits the bill. My children are my collection. As I began this idea, posting on my "collection" of children, it was sarcastic, a bit "tongue in cheek" as it were. And in a way it still is. I don't view my children as items, possessions, or material gain. But they are, in a very real sense, the collection of my years of tutelage, prayers, tears and my joy.

Check out other collectors at WoW.

A Bit of Tea

2012-01-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

The Write on Wednesday Spark: Agent Chin- Wag
Pay attention to the conversations around you: at the dinner table, inthe supermarket, while DVD Returning, wherever. You are looking for oneline, one tiny sentence of dialogue. You may find your words lurking ina D&M or perhaps you will choose a phrase from everydaychatter. Write down your line. Use it to inspire your Write onWednesday post.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She tried to peer over the menu without being noticed. Not seeing anything out of the ordinary, she focused intently on the large, plastic banana wearing a hat on display near the counter. Or rather, she appeared to be intently focused on the banana. She was looking earnestly at it, or so it would seem. She was not seeing the ridiculous fruit at all. She was scanning the room with her ears, listening for the conversation on which she was determined to eavesdrop.

"...doing backflips in 8 inch stilleto heels and landing in a perfect split..."
"... Doc said it's a virus ...
"... knocked into the bucket, yes, that bucket..."

She was pretty sure it was none of those. This was the most interesting part of her job, almost. She really enjoyed overhearing the odd things people talk about in public. You would be amazed what people will discuss when they think no one is listening, she often told her husband. Then she heard it, the conversation for which she had been waiting.

"...lovely, lovely day. Now to prepare for an important day tomorrow."

Sure that was the one, she readjusted her gaze, turning to admire the desserts in the glass enclosed display case. From her vantage point, the display case offered her more than an eye full of delicious sweetness. It offered her a reflective view of the two women sipping hot tea, engrossed in their conversation.

The speaker wore a large hat and sunglasses. Odd. Sunglasses inside were usually a sign the wearer was hiding something.

The smaller, younger woman sat listening intently as the over dressed older woman continued her description of the day ahead of her. She left no detail out. Unashamed, she openly declared to this obviously less worldly companion the intriguing, slightly disturbing details of her "important day" to come.

Our eavesdropping friend took no notes, recorded no voices. Instead, she soaked in the details, allowing her nearly perfect memory to record the information in her brain, etching the details in her memory banks until she was able to return home and sit in front of her computer and upload all the details.

Yes, this was definitely the one. These were surely the women she came to monitor. This very conversation would, in fact, become her next best selling novel. Those few words began to turn in her head, to take shape, to come to life. As the ladies sat, eating their pastries, Mrs. Johnson began to unleash her creative monster, creating and destroying lives over tea.

I'm linking this up with Write on Wednesday. Check out other submissions here.

2012-01-16T16:26:00.001-05:00

Now that's one cute baby. This is a test to see how well the blogging from my phone. If you read this before I get it removed enjoy the cute picture.

Can I do it THIS time?

2012-01-09T21:16:00.001-05:00

Many people start a new year off attempting to make some type of health and wellness improvement. Often we fail to achieve these goals, or fail to realize if we achieved them or not. Sometimes we even fail to remember we made them. I am writing this as an attempt to encourage you and myself to work smarter to achieve our goals. There are some easy ways to help yourself achieve your goals.

a) Make reasonable goals. This is one reason I fail regularly. I set huge goals like "I will get up at 4:30 am and have the entire house clean by 8 am." If I would set more reasonable goal of "Get up at 6:30 and have the kitchen cleaned up by 8" I would stand a good chance of succeeding.

This especially applies to weight loss goals. I know so many people who decide they are losing 20 pounds in a month or 50 pounds between Halloween and Christmas. Experts say that reasonable weight loss is 1-2 pounds a week. Each person is different, of course. Post-partum weight loss may go more quickly, for example. But following 1-2 pounds a week makes 4-8 pounds a month much more reasonable. That still results in around 50 pounds a year, not bad if you are looking for a lifestyle change.

b) Find a way to make your goals measurable. Deciding you want to "be healthier" is a recipe for failure. How will you know if you succeed? You have no way to motivate yourself because you have no idea what success looks like. Goals such as "I want to eat 3 servings of vegetables a day" makes it easy to determine if you are succeeding and still help with your goal to be healthier.

c) Write your goals down. If you are like me, you tend to make a "mental list" of what you should do. Then it gets lost in the other mental clutter. Write down your goal. Post it in places that make sense. You can post on the front of the fridge that you want to eat three servings of vegetables. This helps focus your thoughts when you go to the fridge.

d) Set smaller chunks of time within your larger timeframe. This is very helpful if you are setting a goal to accomplish a task in a certain amount of time. For example "I want to lose 50 pounds in 2012". Set some smaller goals for such as "I want to lose 5 pounds in January." Then you can monitor your progress as you go and not get to December and realize you have only lost 20 pounds.

e) This last one is one of the hardest for me. Don't get discouraged by your setbacks. We are human and will backslide or hit roadblocks. If you notice in February that you only lost 2 pounds, then in March just get back at your plan. Don't quit. If you get to the end of the year having lost 45 pounds instead of 50, you still made a great life change. Keep your eye on the big picture and work toward the end goal, allowing your small goals to guide you, not stop you.

When we talk about getting healthier, I think it is important to keep our mental health in mind. Making and writing down reasonable, measurable goals, keeping track in small chunks of time and allowing room for forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes will help us be mentally successful in our healthier lifestyle goals. It does us no good to achieve some lofty goal if we are miserable the whole time and miserable with the results. A healthier life is supposed to add joy and delight to our years, so attack your goals in a manner that will keep you mentally on track and leave you feeling good rather than beat down.

I am linking this up with Sidetracked Sarah's Get Motivated Mondays. Check out other suggestions for a healthier you this year.

Decluttering the Nursery

2012-01-06T23:25:00.000-05:00

As a homeschooling family with six kids, most rooms have to serve dual purposes. The dining room also houses the shelf of "small piece" games that get destroyed in the toy room. The hallway has a bookshelf of school materials and a dry erase board. The family closet has the printer and the kids' school computer.

Perhaps the biggest dual purpose room, however, is in fact one of the smallest. It is the nursery. When we had no babies, I decided to move my library to the nursery so that we could create a family closet in the much larger room. Then along came baby number 6. So we had to figure out how to squeeze a baby and all his stuff into an already small room filled with bookshelves of school materials, craft supplies, scrapbooking materials and a guest bed.

We had it all fitting and nicely organized. But that was before the little man was actually born. Then reality hit and the chaos and havoc of the constant influx and outgrowing of clothes and toys hit. Add to that 5 other kids getting books and craft supplies out and "putting them away". Nine months later, the room was a disaster. I regret that I did not take "before" and "after" pictures, but I will post a picture for fun.

Helping Mommy clean my room

I spent the day reorganizing the baby section. I put the infant swings in the (buried behind a large mirror) closet and got the crawler/toddler toys out. I got all the blankets returned to their tub. I went through the 5 baskets of baby clothes that I could never find anything in because most were too large or too small.

I set up 5 drawers, 2 laundry baskets and 2 bags to properly sort the clothes. I used 4 of the drawers to sort his currently fitting clothes. One drawer I devoted to a sampling of the next size up clothes, allowing me to easily access some larger things easily should he grow without me noticing. (That may sound silly, but this has been crucial to me in the past.)

I sorted the rest of the next size up clothes into one of the two bags. In the other bag I put the few larger items that I love enough to hold on to long enough for him to grow into.

The two laundry baskets were used to sort items that are too small. One is the "give away" basket and the other is the "I just can't part with these yet" basket.

I placed his toys in a plastic basket and have another for diapers and a third for board books.

I sorted bags of clothes that had been given to him and never gone through, as well as a few bags that had accumulated for my other children. I was able to stash away several items for future use as well as, and perhaps more importantly, get rid of many items.

I tidied up and put all the craft stuff away, straightened up the overflowing bookcase and cleaned off the guest bed. Well, I tidied the guest bed, stacking the plastic tubs of craft supplies on top. Once the cradle is out and the crib is in, the craft materials can be stored under the crib. The baby doesn't actually get to play in his room.

I must admit that I did not finish organizing the school stuff in the room. That is a decluttering project for another day.

I am linking this up at A Slob Comes Clean. Check out other decluttering posts for ideas and suggestions.

Goodbye 2011!

2011-12-30T23:21:00.002-05:00

What kinds of things did 2011 bring to you? It was a good year for me, despite the crazy start. The year started with no water at our house, living with my in-laws and commuting back and forth. Driving the hour drive home to stay 3 days a week while babysitting, with minimal water. Returning to the in-laws for the rest of the week for laundry and bathing.

We rang out 2010 and rang in 2011 with a stomach virus! We started at Christmas. You would think it would run it's course and be finished pretty quickly. However, this particular strain was slow moving. It would take a full week or a little more to strike its next victim. There are (were) 7 members of my family. It took two months to clear this bug through my entire household. I say there were 7 members because I was pregnant with our 6th child. I never, ever, ever get sick - at least not vomiting sick. Even I got this one, pregnant and all.

Then, the last of January came and my brother-in-law graduated from Army Basic Training in Georgia. We set up a family trip to visit for graduation. Right before we left my husband's grandfather passed away. The day after we returned from Georgia, we drove an hour north for the funereal.

Emotions were running very high in the house we were living in. Five kids, stomach virus, trip to Georgia, funereal. Then, on the drive to the funereal, another victim of the stomach bug hit and my 5 year-old started vomiting. This was a time of great chaos, distress and emotional havoc for me. Remember, I was pregnant.

In March, still displaced from my home, I gave birth to my 6th child, my third son. What an amazing blessing he was! His birth was an interesting story, but I won't relate it here. He brought with him great joy, but additional stress as he failed to grow. That story is outlined here if you are interested in reading it.

The week he was born, the man came to drill my well. Unfortunately, no water was found. The rest of the spring was too wet to do anything more. Once the threat of freezing was over, we were able to move into our home and haul water.

Despite this crazy start, I still see this as a good year. I gave birth to a baby. That is the most joyful thing I can imagine. I've increased my blog readership. I've found many other outlets for my writing. I've found use for a great desire that God placed in my heart to help children come to love Him. I've discovered a workable schedule for my children to manage school and house duties (not perfected, just beginning to develop). I've discovered some new recipes. But more importantly, I've discovered that I can make some homemade stuff that I thought you had to buy!

The year has been chaotic. It's been a little crazy. It's been extremely emotional. It's been a good year. Goodbye 2011!

Below are listed my top 5 favorite posts of the year. I'd love to hear from you if there is a post of mine from that you enjoyed this year.

In no particular order:

My Box

Be Careful What You Wish For

View From My Window

Goodnight

It's That Time

Meltaway Cookies

2011-12-15T22:19:00.001-05:00

In an effort to be more like my friend Amanda at Cooking Three Handed, I went web searching for a cookie recipe that was fast, easy and took only ingredients likely to be in my kitchen already. I often fail to make yummy treats because I didn't plan ahead and buy chocolate chips or raisins.

I found a recipe for Meltaway Cookies. It looked easy enough even for me. I also decided to "mix it up" a bit. I separated the dough into 3 batches. I colored the first batch red and added a smidge of peppermint extract. The next batch I colored yellow and added lemon extract. The third batch I colored green but left unflavored for a control group.

Ingredients:

1 c. soft butter
1/2 c. sifted confectioners' (plus extra to roll in afterward)
1 tsp. vanilla
2 1/4 c. sifted flour
1/2 tsp. salt

Heat oven to 400 degrees. Mix thoroughly butter, confectioners' sugar, vanilla. Sift flour, salt; stir in. Drop teaspoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheet (cookies do not spread). I had the kids use a spoon and make the "balls" but they ended up too large so we sort of tore them apart and plopped them, unshaped. They were all different and not perfectly round, but I liked them that way. Bake about 8 minutes until set, but not brown. While still warm sprinkle with confectioners' sugar. The sprinkling didn't work for me, so I plopped them in the confectioners' sugar and rolled them around in it. Makes 5 dozen cookies the size of a quarter.

Many of my children actually preferred the plain to the flavored, but all were a hit. The coloring made them more festive and I suspect that my children would not have been as excited to eat them had they been "dough colored".

So now you have a fun, family friendly, quick and easy cookie recipe that calls for no specialty ingredients.

Spoon Rolls

2011-12-14T21:25:00.000-05:00

This recipe for quick and easy dinner rolls will make you look like an expert chef and please all bread loving members of your family. My mother-in-law always knocked my socks off "whipping" these up for dinner. Now I realize these are really easy enough to make any night of the week.

4 c. self rising flour*
2 pkgs dry yeast
2 c. warm water
3/4 c. butter
1/2 c. sugar
1 egg, beaten

Cream butter and sugar in a large bowl. Add egg. Dissolve yeast in water. Then add to above mixture. Slowly stir in flour. Grease muffin tins. Bake in 425 degree oven for 15 minutes. Dough will keep in the refrigerator for 1 week.

*make your own self rising flour - 1c flour, 1 1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt for each cup of self rising flour called for in the recipe

Christmas Joys: Santa Train

2011-12-06T16:23:00.001-05:00

One of my family's favorite Christmas traditions - okay, they are all favorites. One Christmas tradition that my children love is the visit of the Santa Train. This tradition actually dates back to my days as a young aunt with no children of my own. I remember visiting the Santa Train in my home town, young boyfriend in tow, and holding any number of young nieces.

When my first two were pretty young, perhaps 2 and 3, my husband (same said young boyfriend with just a few more grey hairs) and I decided to take our children to the Santa Train in the town near our home. We discovered, over the next few years, that the train actually visits 3 towns in a row the same day. It starts at 3 o'clock in the afternoon at the first town and usually arrives at the third stop (the one I went to as a child) around 9 pm. We decided that Daddy leaving work early and meeting during daylight hours was totally worth the time. It is much warmer and takes much less time.

As the train pulls up to the stop, you see Santa and the Mrs. waving from the front of the engine. Once it stops, characters of all sorts, from Buzz Lightyear to Rudolph, descend among the line of children and parents to entertain them while they wait to see the Claus.

The children love climbing on board the train and seeing it's decorations. They (sometimes) sit on Santa's lap. They rarely speak to him, as my children are incredibly shy, but they sort of smile for the camera. They take their candy cane from Mrs. Claus and usually some other "gift" from the elves, this year - light up necklaces.

As they get down from the train they talk rapidly and excitedly about how fun it was and how neat the train was. They discuss their favorite character and who they had pictures taken with or shook hands with. Even the 10 and 11 year olds look forward each year to this event. It amazes me how this pretty small event impresses them so. The memories they are building now priceless. This is what makes all the anxiety of Christmas (my anxiety) worth it. The joys my children experience at Christmas outweigh all the stress I endure. Merry Christmas!

Ed. note: Check back for pictures.

Five Golden Rings

2011-12-05T18:09:00.001-05:00

I have two blog posts waiting. They have been waiting for days. I have dinner cooking. I have a grocery list to make. I don't have time for this. So, here goes.

The Write On Wednesday Rules: Get creative with the writing exercises - there isn't a right or wrong. Please do try to visit the other members of Write On Wednesdays and leave a comment of support and constructive criticism.

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 27 - Mel suggested that we look at the "12 Days of Christmas" poem/song and select one of the days/lines for our writing inspiration. So, whether a Partridge in a Pear Tree or Five Golden Rings, write your line at the top of your page, set your timer for 5 minutes and write the first words that come into your head.

Five Golden Rings

He stared down at them. Each shiny and sparkly. Each with it's own story to tell. The snow was swirling outside the window. December had blown in with a vengeance after a November of sunshine and promise. Tonight that was all he had left. A promise. A promise to love, honor and protect. She was worth that. She was worth far more than that. She was worth all he could muster for her. As he stared down at each golden ring, he wondered. What stories did they bring with them? Were they tales of love and joy, as he hoped his own to be? Or were they tales of heartache and desperation? He wished he were shopping in the finest jewelry store in the city. But he had to settle for this cold, dimly lit pawn shop. Would these used rings, these already told stories affect his own story? Their story? All he had left was a promise. That was enough.

"Homemade" Liquid Hand and Body Soap

2011-12-02T09:43:00.001-05:00

I have been rather unhappy with my liquid shower soap lately. Changing is not an easy task. First, my husband doesn't like frilly, flowery smells first thing in the morning. Secondly, I have been unable to find liquid body soap that smells like soap. I found one that was okay, but it always left me feeling less clean than I would like.

I happened upon a post about making liquid hand soap and read that you could turn any bar soap into liquid soap. Eureka! I was thrilled! I could buy soapy smelling soap, and make liquid! Hooray!

Well, of course I quickly lost track of the post so I began websearching. I discovered that there are conflicting explanations as to how to do this. So, I am adding to the internet chaos of how to make liquid hand or body soap.

But I'm not giving "precise" measurements because I figured that all the recipes were different, mine would be trial and error. Here's how I did it.

***

I grated a bar of soap (I used Lever, I loved the smell). I believe it was a 4 oz. bar. I put it in a small soup pan and added 4 cups water and began heating and stirring until (mostly) melted.

Next I decided to try to blend it in my blender as several recipes recommended this step. I put the 4 cups in the blender. This is where I must warn you - they will suds. I am missing the little top piece that fits in the lid of my blender, so I usually cover it with a washcloth. I couldn't wash the soap out of the washcloth. The soap created so much suds that it absorbed directly into just one small spot on the washcloth, but at that concentration, it was nearly impossible to remove.

Several recipes recommended glycerin, others said it was unnecessary with most bar soaps. After reading horror stories of the soap congealing so hard in the pump that it ruined the pump, I decided to try without and add it in if necessary. Glycerin is apparently to help with the smoothness and softness, like a silky girly shower soap. But it apparently affects the thickening as well. I poured the 4 cups of liquid soap in a 3 gallon bucket with a lid and added more about 2 more cups of water. I let this set overnight with the lid on but not sealed.

The next day I took about 1 1/2 cups of the soap and put it in the blender. It was very thick. I added about 1/2 cup of water. I blended it and checked that it was a good consistancy.

I washed and reused an old soap bottle.

The next day, hubby and I tried the soap. We decided it needed the glycerin. How much? Well, the reports again conflicted so I added about 1/2 tsp to one (not quite full) bottle of liquid soap. It seems to be less drying on the skin with the glycerin, so I will in the future add it again.

***

All told I spent $1.50 for 2 bars of soap and $3.00 for the glycerin. I used very little so far of the glycerin, so I would say that each batch (which I'm thinking will make about 8 ish cups of soap) will cost me about $1.00.

It does not suds a lot on the scrubby. We use 2 or 3 pumps to get a good sudsiness. Many will not really like this effect. I love the smell and I feel so much cleaner with this soap. After an evening shower the first night, I awoke able to smell the soap the next morning. This made me so happy. I never knew how much I loved the smell of soap.

Christmas Joys: Decorating Grandma's House

2011-11-26T11:48:00.001-05:00

Often the Saturday after Black Friday becomes "Decorate Grandma's House Day." Daddy helps hang lights on the outside of the house. The kids help assemble and decorate Grandma's tree. The village gets set up, and re-setup, and re-setup throughout the Christmas Season as the kids move pieces around.

The kids seem to enjoy decorating everything at Grandma's as much as Grandma enjoys having stuff decorated. Grandpa exercises his patience as much as possible in letting the kids decorate in the way that only children can. Eventually, over the course of the next few weeks, the kids will get the fireplace mantle, the coffee table and every conceivable horizontal (and some vertical) surfaces of Grandma's house decorated for Christmas. I think it is more fun for them even than decorating our own house.

One of the greatest joys of the Christmas season is the way it seems to have of bringing generations together, of uniting the child in all of us. It somehow even manages to make cranky mommies sit back, smile and say "Now that looks like fun."

To top off our Christmas decorating fun, the kids made pine cone "Christmas Trees" to add to the village. The photo above shows a house with two of the "trees". Below is a picture of all 5 "trees".

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Joys: Black Friday

2011-11-25T19:09:00.001-05:00

It is easy this time of year to get bogged down in the hustle and bustle of the holidays. I often find myself more stressed than joyful as we finish Thanksgiving and begin the Christmas season. My husband often gets so overwrought at the materialization of Christmas that he gets rather blue. For this reason, years ago I determined that I would spend from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas Day making as many memories and joyful moments as possible. I desire to make the gift giving as little a part of the holiday as possible, not because it is evil, but because it so easy for it to overtake the true joy of Christmas.

The first Christmas Tradition in our family is Black Friday. Yes, we do go shopping while it's still dark! Many years ago, my husband, mother-in-law and brother-in-law and I and whichever children we had at that time, first began joining the insanity. For many years we got up at 3:30 or 4:00 to be at the stores at 5:00. More children joined the family, but we kept going, seeming a little crazier each year.

Then came the year when we just had no reason to go, no great deals, no desire to venture out. That year, when I had nearly decided listening to the crying and whining (mostly the kids') was not worth it, I overheard my kids talking about how excited they were!

"We get up at like 3 in the morning, go get Krispy Kreme donuts, and go shopping!" I knew that we had to go, even if we didn't want to .

Since then, the last 3 years, we have done Black Friday only for the kids. Truly. They begin talking about how much fun it is weeks before Thanksgiving. I don't have the heart to not go.

So we kick off each of your Christmas Seasons with the official Black Friday. Now, however, we leave in the dark (7:00). Krispy Kreme is closed, so we have to get donuts elsewhere. We shop until shortly after lunch, come home and nap. It's really about the fun, not about the shopping. The kids whine much less, and we all seem to enjoy the day gearing up for the celebration of the birth of our Savior.

Merry Christmas!

Please share some of your Christmas Traditions. Check out other interesting posts at Raising Arrows where I have linked this post.

The Saddest Thing I Ever Heard

2011-11-21T23:16:00.001-05:00

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 25 - I heard a song on the radio during the week and I thought the lyrics would make an interesting prompt for WoW. So, write the words "The saddest thing I ever heard" on your page, set your timer for 5 minutes and write the first words that come into your head based on the given prompt.

It was the saddest thing I ever heard. The two chipmunks were chattering away. "Did you see the size of that van?"

"Yes! It came out of nowhere!"

"It carreened around the corner, kids flaily out the windows, screaming in the summer air!" The first chipmunk responded.

"Before he knew what was happening.... It was all over so fast!" The second chipmunk wailed into his little hankie.

"I told him. I told Jerry not to pick nuts on the other side of the street. I've seen that crazy lady, all those kids, that big van flying down the road before. Are you kidding me? I'll never cross this road. No way sir!"

"But, but, but... But Jerry was just too young to die!" The second one wailed some more.

"Poor Jerry, he never stood a chance, not against that van driving momma." Replied the first chipmunk. "That just goes to show you, the nuts aren't always crunchier on the other side of the road."

******

This was inspired by certain events that transpired today. Whether I was the one overhearing the chatter of the chipmunks or the momma driving the van I will leave for you to ponder. I decided on a humorous take, as I was in no mood for anything sad today. Thanks for reading!

Please take some time to check out other Write On Wednesday stories.

It's That Time!

2011-11-21T16:31:00.001-05:00

Christmas is coming. And with it comes the joy and dread of Christmas gift buying. My greatest joy on Christmas morning is watching the faces of my children as they open their presents. They are excited over the simplest things. They simply and truly love dearly every single item they open. For about a day.

Every year I stress, plan, shop, think, worry, plan, think, worry, shop in an effort to buy great presents for my 5 (now 6) children. And every year I see the joy with which they open their presents and it is all worth it. Until planning time arrives the following fall.

That is when I begin wondering what I'm going to buy them this Christmas. And I remember the things they loved last Christmas. The things I haven't seen them play with in 6 months. They things they've lost and don't remember or broken and forgotten. The things they so loved, yet now are never touched.

And that is when I begin to get distraught. I am not a great gift buyer by nature anyway. So trying to buy Christmas gifts for these children really stresses me. Largely because I see the way we have too much stuff already. And I see that they don't play with nearly anything from last year. And I see that there is so little value in what they actually get.

So this year I am trying to think about shopping for things I might not usually. I am thinking of buying more Christian books and games, more role playing games (dress up, etc.) and more board games. We own, or have owned, nearly ever toy ever. Most of them lie broken or disheveled and dispersed throughout the insane toy room. I hate to add to that, yet I delight in that look of joy. I don't want to raise materialistic children, yet the joy of gifts is an amazing sight to see, and it delights me to give that joy to my children.

Later in the week, I shall blog about the Christmas Traditions in my family that add to the joy of the holiday. Gift giving is great, receiving is fun, but there are so many other ways that we try to make the Christmas Season enjoyable so that the gifts are but a small part of the bigger scheme of Christmas.

Merry Christmas! And remember, in the end it's really only about The Gift, the birth of our Lord and Savior, don't let the stresses of the season steal His Joy from you!

The Family Closet

2011-11-08T10:40:00.000-05:00

I was so excited when we moved into this house. We had 5 kids and were leaving a 2 bedroom house for what is essentially a 5 bedroom house (though not "legally"). I was thrilled! At long last I would have a library! As book nut, teacher and homeschooling mom, a library really excited me. My husband wanted a family closet. I insisted on having a library. He decided against arguing with me. He let me have my way. After a year or two, I saw the light, rearranged the entire house, moved the baby into her sister's room, turned the small nursery into a small library/guest room and turned the library into a family closet. I hate it when he's right.

So, as my Large Family Organization post, I want to share with you the ever evolving plan for my family closet. Currently we have 4 dressers that 5 kids share, a table for folding (which becomes a horizontal surface to stack stuff) and we had a portable "wardrobe" that I bought on clearance. It broke. My fault entirely, but it broke. To help me, my husband installed 2 closet rods and the kids were instructed to hang up whatever they wanted.

My children decided to hang everything (yes, everything, my 11 year old found a way to hang his underwear and socks). So now they each have a section of closet to hang their clothes in. I can't believe how fast they put away their laundry now! I've been folding it lately and putting it in their stacks. I realize that we need not fold and I need to return to my previous laundry plan, with individual baskets. Why fold when it is going straight to a hanger?

Since this seems to be working so well, I am evolving the plan. I think I shall keep 2 dressers (12 drawers) assign them each 2 drawers for socks, undies and jammies. Then I think we will hang at least 3 more rods so that their is more room for hanging clothes. A hamper for dirty laundry, a set of drawers for sheets, a tub for blankets and baskets in the bottom the closet for shoes and I think it will make a much more usable space. I think I will even move the adult clothes in there, once I get it organized.

I welcome comments and suggestions that will help me plan or better utilize this area. Also, cheap ideas for storage are always welcomed. Don't forget to check our Raising Arrows today for more ideas!

We are learning to make fire

2011-11-07T19:28:00.000-05:00

The Write On Wednesday Rules: Get creative with the writing exercises - there isn't a right or wrong. Please do try to visit the other members of Write On Wednesdays and leave a comment of support and constructive criticism.

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 23 - Write the words of Margaret Atwood at the top of your page "We are learning to make fire". Set your timer to 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Stop when the buzzer rings.

The boys looked up. They couldn't believe what they had just heard. Did they really hear the words come out if the old man's mouth. Yes, he had said "We are learning to make fire." What did he mean? The boys were excited. They didn't know what to do, what was going to happen. They knew only that their mother was going to kill them and that the old man was promising them something exciting.

Looking around the dark cave, watching for any glimpse of their mother, the oldest boy repeated the man. "We are learning to make fire?"

"Oh, yes. It has been outlawed way too long. Few remember the way, not many know how it is done. I, I am one of the few. I am old. When I am gone, so too shall be the knowledge of man's fire."

"Mother says fire is a fairy tale. She says man has never used fire. She says it is dangerous." The younger brother responded to the old man. He was very nervous, and very excited.

"It was outlawed right before I was born. My father taught me, despite the law forbidding it. I have no sons. Now, I shall teach you."

Please visit WoW to read other great stories.

Reason # 731 That I Love My Life

2011-11-05T00:30:00.000-04:00

I could go on for hours about why my life is awesome. Honestly. Sure, it's not perfect. I have many problems, but really when compared to the blessings, they don't amount to much. But tonight I want to share with you one specific awesomeness about my life: My friends.

I love my friends. But mostly I love that my friends have kids that my kids love as much as I love their parents. When I was growing up, my parents had friends, I had friends, but my friends' parents didn't even know mine and if they did, they weren't really "friends". Even in the small community in which I lived, it seemed our lives were separate in that area.

I don't know if this is "normal" or if it's a "church" thing or a "homeschool" thing. I honestly hope many, many others are blessed in the way that I am. My kids love to play with the kids of my friends. Any group of my friends can get together and our kids will have a good time.

For example, tonight my friend Amanda (from Cooking Three Handed) had a birthday party for her 5 year old. She also has, currently residing in her house, a two year old, an infant and a slew of dogs. Despite the fact that the oldest is 5 and I have 3 older than him, my kids LOVE going to play at their house. They LOVE having the kids over to our house. Another friend came with her kids, much the same ages as mine. Her older children also enjoy playing with the younger ones. They all play elaborate games, usually including all age levels, happily!

Now, don't think this means we don't have fighting and whining. We do. We have to stop bickering, enforce toy sharing, and generally discipline children throughout the course of the night. But what strikes me as really cool is that when asked who they want to have at an event, birthday party or whatever, it is ALWAYS someone whose parents are my friends. And they always want the whole family. They usually don't ask for one of the 5 or 6 kids from a given family, they ask for them by family.

I would love to hear from others outside of my little world. Is this a common experience that other families share? It is amazing to me, but I love it. I know the day will come when this isn't always the case, but I love that when it comes time for a birthday party and I get to see my friends, too!

Things I Know - The Second Law of Thermodynamics

2011-11-04T09:28:00.000-04:00

It's Friday! Friday is Things I Know day! This week I shall be telling you what I know about the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

I know that physics isn't my strongest subject.

I know that some really smart people discovered that over time if energy is not added to a system the quality of matter and energy will deteriorate over time. Entropy is a gauge of chaos in a system. As unusable energy is lost, there will be an increase in chaos and randomness.

I know that this Second Law over takes my home, daily.

I know that if energy is not added to wash the dishes, the pile will grow and the difficulty in the washing will increase.

I know that if energy is not added to tidy up the living room, the entire room will be engulfed in chaos in very short order.

I know that if the pile of dirty laundry is not washed, it will get bigger, more chaos inducing and stinkier.

I know that if the pile of clean laundry isn't put away it will spread to all the living areas of the home and begin to mingle with all the dirty laundry creating more chaos trying to determine which is the clean and which is the dirty.

I know that I really wish the Second Law of Thermodynamics would stay out of my home.

I'm linking this up to Things I Know. Read more about what others know here.

Why Paper Plates are Good for the Environment

2011-11-01T16:43:00.001-04:00

Today's post: Paper plates! Hooray for paper plates!!! I am nearly in love with paper plates. And I very nearly didn't know how great they were. Until I ran out.

I have 6 children, one is an infant so his dishes are a different matter. But three days a week I keep two extra boys, because 6 just isn't enough most days. That said, I daily have lunch dishes for 7 kids. I try to use paper plates. This week I ran out of paper plates. So I persevered and used real plates. I am not a good house keeper, I am not good at keeping up with basic things, dishes, laundry, etc. So of course, even with my new larger dishwasher, I am swimming in plates. On top of lunch plates for 7, (plus me) I have dinner plates for 7 and this morning my children had waffles. Yay! They sucessfully ran me out of clean plates. I put the maximum amount of plates possible in the dishwasher and still have dirty plates. (It doesn't help that last night was Halloween and we were out late and busy preparing so I didn't have time to finish yesterday's dishes.)

So, why do I say that paper plates are good for the environment? Well, they make a huge difference in the number of dishes I have to wash. That makes my home environment a lot better. That makes mommy happy. Happy mommy makes happy daddy. Happy daddy doesn't have to stop and buy cranky mommy a fountain coke. Fountain coke means more money, more styrofoam, more energy to dispense said drink and more gas for daddy's car. Ok, so that is all a stretch, but it does make for a much nicer home environment and frankly, that is enough for me right now.

This is not so much a Large Family Organization tip as a large family survival tip. Use paper plates. (We use them lunch only, actually, and that alone makes a huge difference.) Check out more tips here.

Things I Know - The Promises of God

2011-10-28T21:33:00.002-04:00

I am focusing today's Things I Know on the Promises of God.

I know that the promises of God are Yes! and Amen! 2 Corinthians 1:20

I know that God is Good. Joshua 23:14

I know that God made me with a purpose. Jeremiah 29:11

I know that God created me, He knew me before I was born. Psalm 139:13

I know that God paid for my sins so that I could spend eternity with Him. John 3:16

I occasionally have those days where I need encouragement. I need reminders of God's love, grace and protection. I need to remember to whom I belong, that I am the daughter of The King. Those are the days that I need to look back at these basic things that I know about the promises of God.

Laundry for an Army

2011-10-25T05:00:00.000-04:00

I am raising an army. I love my army. They bring me much joy, delight, laughter and laundry. I don't so much love the laundry. Actually, I hate it. Just when you think you have it all finished, you go to bed and wake up to 2 loads just from what they all took off after laundry was finished!!!

Several years ago, in an attempt to simplify my life, we decided to try individual baskets for the kids. The kids each picked a color when we bought them (some had the same color, but they got to choose it). We labeled the baskets with their name. Each time we had a mountain of clean laundry, the kids would sort laundry into each person's basket. They then were responsible for taking their basket to the closet. (Yes, we have a family closet. When it gets better organized, I'll post about it.) They were then responsible for putting away their own (and helping with the little ones') stuff.

You may notice that I wrote this in the past tense. We have fallen out of this habit. But after writing this post, while the kids are folding laundry, I think it is time to reinstate the baskets. I must say, though, they are getting to be pretty good laundry folders. Put awayers, not so much.

I'm linking this idea up with Raising Arrows, Large Family Organization tips. Check out other tips, no matter your family size!

I thought I saw ...

2011-10-24T17:59:00.000-04:00

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 20 - Write the words " I thought I saw" at the top of your page. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Don't take you pen off the page (or fingers off the keyboard). Stop only when the buzzer rings! Do this exercise over and over if you wish. Write beyond 5 minutes if you like, you can link it up as an extra post.

I thought I saw a fairy flutter on the wind. She was a fairy, that was sure, all decked out in green. I saw her peek inside a flower, to see what was within. I saw the look of joy and glee as she reached to pull the dew drop out! What a sight to behold, a little fairy on the prowl, looking for magic in God's creation! I watched to see what she'd do, why did she need that? She fluttered around with her little drop, looking for the right spot. Suddenly, she spied something and turned to fly away. Across the yard glided another little fairy, this one clad in orange. She too carried a drop of dew. What were these dew drops for?

The fairy in green popped out from the tree behind which she hid and tossed her dew drop at the fairy so orange - splat! Target hit square on the head! "I win! I win!" The green fairy cried in joyous fashion. "I'll get you tomorrow!" laughed the wet little fairy, "Just you wait and see!"

Homemade McGriddles Sandwiches

2011-10-22T13:20:00.000-04:00

My kids love the McGriddles from McDonalds. I don't love paying that much money times 5 (just for the kids) for breakfast. So I began wondering how to make them at home. I searched the internet, found many helpful recipes, and a few not-so helpful ones. I refuse to go buy specialty stuff that I won't use for anything else, so maple crystals were out of the question.

After perusing recipes on the internet, I did what I always do and made up my own. Here is my first attempt at homemade McGriddles.

Here is what you will need:

Ingredients for your favorite pancake recipe

Breakfast syrup

Bacon or sausage

Eggs

Cheese of choice

I am not including quantities as I figure you can decide how much bacon or how many eggs your family will eat. I have a large family, our quantities may differ from yours.

I started with a basic pancake recipe. My favorite is this one from Allrecipes but I didn't have vinegar so I used an older one from my Betty Crocker cookbook.

After preparing the recipe, I put a small amount on the griddle. I actually had rather large ones, keep in mind it might spread, I recommend going slightly smaller than you think you will want. I only put four on my griddle so that I could have time for the second step: syrup.

I put about a tablespoon of syrup on top of the pancake batter and swirled it around, then used a fork to "mix" it lightly in. There was not quite as much syrup as I would have liked in the first batch, so when I made a few extras for the kids to munch on I put an extra dab of syrup on top after the syrup that I mixed in.

I cooked the pancakes as normal and made bacon and eggs, and shredded cheddar cheese. I allowed the kids to choose whether they had eggs and cheese, but all wanted the bacon, of course!

They were a little sticky, but not too bad. They were quite yummy and very filling. I didn't get any pictures because we were all too hungry and anxious to try them. When I make them again, I will try to get some pictures to go with it. Happy Eating!

(The kids have requested these as a before church breakfast. I am going to try precooking the pancakes and bacon and putting them in the fridge so that we can have a fast breakfast for early mornings. I'll let you know!)

Bring Me Sunshine in a Cup

2011-10-21T08:02:00.002-04:00

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 19 - Sunshine in a cup. Write the words of Emily Dickinson: "Bring me sunshine in a cup" at the top of your page. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Don't take you pen off the page (or fingers off the keyboard). Stop only when the buzzer rings! Do this exercise over and over if you wish. Write beyond 5 minutes if you like, you can link it up as an extra post.

Momma sat staring forlornly in her cup of coffee. Where had her day gone? She had been up before the sun with a huge list of chores to do, and yet, here she sat, staring into a dark brown circle, to do list swimming in her head.

She heard the howling, cackling, raucus laughter of her children running and playing outside. Occationally one would run through the house, screen door slamming on his way through.

Tired. Why did Momma always feel so tired, so - worn? She sat her cup on the table and leaned back against the couch. Just a minute of rest. I'll close my eyes for just a minute. She jolted awake. Staring confused, bleary eyed at the vision before her. Instead of her cold coffee sitting on the table, she saw a sight to behold! Standing next to the table on which sat a cup overflowing with dandelions was the toothless grin of her little girl. "Look Momma! I brought you Sunshine in a Cup!"

Things I Know

2011-10-21T06:40:00.001-04:00

I know that God is Good - ALL the time.

I know that children grow up way faster than you ever think they will.

I know that beans spilled from homemade, homeschool cinco de mayo maracas and buried under 6 months of rubble in a car will sprout.

I know that nothing in life can prepare you for the day the doctor hands you a new baby, whether it is number 1 or number 6.

I know that when children first learn to graffiti, they usually spell their own names on the wall, making them relatively easy to catch.

I know that despite the above statement, sometimes they are smart enough to write their brother's name on the door of said bean sprouting vehicle, but not usually smart enough to lie about it.

I know that marriage was one of God's best ideas.

I know that 4:30 in the morning is definitely not the best time to hear an alarm clock.

I know that electric blankets, soft pillows, flannel sheets and a snugly husband make the 4:30 alarm nearly impossible to get up to.

Interested in seeing what other bloggers know? Check out Yay For Home's Things I Know Friday.

Train Up a Daughter

2011-10-19T14:33:00.000-04:00

One of my (and my husband's) favorite verses is Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it."

When the majority of my children were preschool age, this verse spoke to me largely in the aspect of training, meaning teaching them how to behave, how to listen and most importantly how to obey. Now that the vast majority of my children are well past toddlerhood and in their schoolage years, it is begining to take on a new meaning. I'm looking past teaching them to be well behaved children and into their adult years. I'm viewing their training in the sense of preparing them for adulthood.

As a homeschooling mom, some of that is academic, preparing them to be successful in college and in their career choice. Some of that is home related, preparing them to maintain their homes physically and relationally. Some of that is in choosing their "career paths".

When you have girls, the idea of choosing a career path leads to extra complications. I want my daughters to be able to support themselves should they ever need to. I want them to be compentent to succeed in the world in any way in which they choose. I don't want to dash hopes and desires of being doctors and business women. Yet at the same time I hope they choose to first be moms and wives. I would love nothing more than my daughters all choosing to be stay at home moms, wives, ministering to their families and communities.

Yet, one never knows when, or if, a girl will marry. I want her prepared to lead a single life, competently, whether living in my home in her early single years or living alone. This poses many problems for moms. How do I encourage her to follow her dreams of being a (insert profession here) without making the alternative of being a keeper of the home a short term, temporary, second thought?

Many women who choose to stay at home during her childrens' preschool years, or even all of school years, think in the terms of temporary. We have gotten to the point in our culture where we are usually tolerant of stay at home moms, even encouraging. Yet a stay at home wife? No kids to care for? Should this truly be something young girls aspire to?

It is seems sad that society accepts the idea of being a mommy, yet being fullfilled in being a wife is, well misunderstood. While our children will always be a part of our lives, they will not always be the main focus of our lives, but our marriage should be. We should be as committed to being wives as we are being moms. It is my desire that my girls would see modeled the idea of the wife being the part of the whole that handles home care while her husband shall be the part of the whole that handles the majority of the financial provision. I want them to see that a woman at home is as financially valuable in her ability to help save money through her resources and resourcefulness as well as any homebased financial endeavors she shall provide. I pray that they will see the emotional/relational value to helping a husband be a minister, no matter his profession.

But this is a life choice they must make for themselves. Short of modeling and mentioning it in passing during the occasional "What do you want to be when you grow up" conversations, there is no real way to "force" this desire upon them. No matter how much you want your child to be a doctor, you cannot make them do it. The same goes for being a professional keeper of the home.

And adding to that complexity is that I believe every girl needs to have skills that would allow them to support themselves in the event it become necessary. So, my problem: How do I encourage my daughter in her dream of being a doctor and in being a homemaker?

I'm linking this to Raising Homemakers Homemaking Linkup. Check out the other posts!

SOCKS!!!!

2011-10-18T10:07:00.000-04:00

If you know me at all, you have heard me complain about socks. I think they are horrible, evil and nasty. But they are a necessary evil in the midwest. Fortunately, for me, during the summer months my girls like to be barefoot or in sandals/flip flops, so we have few socks to deal with.

Several years ago, my husband issued a decree that has made socks almost bearable around here. Almost. We all wear white socks. The only exception is Daddy and his socks for work, which are brown or black. Okay, that's not true. I have my winter long socks that I wear with my shorter skirts to keep my lets warm. They are all funny colored. Next, each person not only wears white socks everyday, but they have only one type of sock, all their socks match. Then, twice a year I buy all new socks. It is expensive, but worth it. I throw away all the socks (or if they are still reasonable, I donate them to my much more organized and less sock picky mommy friend).

To further help, each different size of sock is different. For example, the oldest boy has a blue strip across his toe. The middle boy has a green stripe. The littlest girl has pink. The two older girls wear the same size sock, so they both have purple toes. If they share a sock size, they share socks. They don't get to bicker about whose sock is whose. I just don't care. Daddy's socks are gray heeled and Mommies have pink words written across the toe. When we buy socks next, we will all get a different brand/style so that the old ones are easily identifiable in the purging process.

Now when we do whites, all the socks get washed in that one load, rather than having only yellow socks to wear with a pink outfit or something, or worse, only one yellow and one pink sock to wear. They aren't cute, but they are work. We've done it so long that no one cares, even the girls. It's just life.

When we sort the clean load of whites, we put each person's sock into their own stack, but I don't fold. If a person wants to fold their socks (including Daddy who is the pickiest sock person in the family), they fold their own. If there is a stray sock, it goes in the drawer unmated so that we know where it will be when next we find a stray. Since they all match, it doesn't matter!

This is the best sock solution this untidy disorganized mom of 6 has ever had. It works for us!

I'm linking this up with Raising Arrows Large Family Organization Tips.

What Would You Do If?

2011-10-18T07:57:00.001-04:00

What would you do if you could do anything you wanted and know you would not fail.

I've seen the question posed before. I never know the answer. Is it because I don't know what I'd like to do? Is it because I can't narrow it down to just one thing? Is it because I have no goals? Is it because I'm afraid to admit, even to myself, what I most long to do and am afraid to try?

Yeah, I don't know. So, while I'm pondering this for myself, ashamed that I can't give an answer, I'd love to have your "What would you do if" listed in the comment section below. You can post anonymously if you desire. If you have tried to post in the past and had difficulties, try again. There should be an option to post anonymously if you do not want to create an ID.

If I get at least 5 reader comments, I promise to most one myself. If I get at least 10 reader comments, I promise it will be true! Post your answer and encourage one another to dream big!

Why I'm the Worst Mom/Woman I Know

2011-10-17T15:38:00.000-04:00

and other such nonsense....

I have the world's most amazing friends. Let me describe them. These are real people, honest. Read how truly amazing they are (if you get bored, please skip to the bottom for the point, it's a good one):

1) I have a friend who actually makes her own bread. Not sometimes, like twice a day, every day. And she grows her own meat. Ok, maybe raises is better. She has slaughtered her own chickens, served her own holiday goose. She has had goats for milk, and entertainment. Oh, yeah, she has 4 kids 5 and under, works 3 jobs last I counted (or was it 4), runs her own business, takes her preschoolers/infants/toddlers with her to her job(s). Homeschools her kids, who are grades ahead though so young, and has her kids in classes at the "Y".

2) I have a friend who has 6 kids, homeschools and makes herbal home remedies. Her kids match everyday, not just public days, study Latin and Spanish, listen to classical music and appreciate fine art. Her husband is one of those multi-talented highly respected men in the community and a leader in church. She looks amazing every day and has an impeccably kept house.

3) I have a friend who is beyond amazing in her love and heart for her children. She knows them so very well and has high expectations despite their individual quirks. She has dealt with heartache most of us cannot imagine, nor would want to, and yet shines with joy and love for others. She's been a married, yet mostly single military mom, runs her own business, writes and cooks divinely. She teaches others how to have fun and to not sweat the petty stuff. Oh, and in her spare time is pushing forth an adoption for their first girl.

4) I have a friend who has the most amazing sense of humor and heart to give and serve. She never forgets a birthday, or other anniversary-type event - even the silly. She brings Whatchamacallit bars and Dr. Peppers to friends just because she's that sort. She has a voice that the angels stop and listen to and a gift for song that glorifies God in the most necessary of circumstances. She always has the encouraging word and the scripture to back it up. She makes sure her children have a variety of experiences and encourages their faith in every breath of her life.

5) I have a friend who exudes love. She has done it all, homeschool, public school, a mix of both, and is a general advocate for her friends to follow God's call in their lives and hearts. She has experienced heartache and pain that have brought forth beauty. She helped me find a call for small children I didn't know was there and is a daily inspiration, though we speak rarely. She knows what's important as a mom and doesn't stress over the stuff that's just not worth it. She builds up the hearts of her friends. She is an amazing cook, too!

6) I have a friend who I'm still getting to know, but intrigues me often. She doesn't see how cool she is. She has tireless energy. She coaches everything. She cooks incredibly. She is a great artist, in many different media types. She gives of herself and is totally not selfish, just don't ask her. Her mind is always running. She enjoys helping friends in the craziest ways. She is the sort of friend that is a true friend, the one that you just know you could call when you need help and she'd drop everything she could and do it.

7) I have a friend who is gorgeous. Not just outside, though certainly, but deeply inside. She exudes the Joy of the Lord in all she says and does. She has 4 beautiful children and loves them deeply. She is an example to all the women who know her. She honors her husband in all her actions and speech. She gives endlessly and tirelessly of herself. Without even knowing, she has brought me comfort and joy. Though I see her rarely now, she is still dedicated to my life, always willing to pray when asked.

8) I have a mean friend, too. Just ask her. Only she's so not really. She's tough and independent. She knows what it takes to survive in this yucky world and works hard to protect her kids from it. She works mostly full time and homeschools while going to school herself. She feeds her kids good, wholesome food, and adores her time with them. She cares for her disabled grandfather. She has a heart big enough for all that are in it and room to spare. She likes to do nice things for others, though she doesn't like to be too highly praised for it.

I chose, of all the other amazing women in my life, these 8. I know them best, so they were easiest to write about. Seven of them are women invested in my life, praying for me and each other as a part of (or formerly a part of) my small group. They are the women I call when prayers are needed or I'm just overly frustrated. The other one is the oldest friend that I still see from my childhood. (Oldest as in been friends with the longest, she's younger than I.)

I could have written about so many other amazing women in my life. I really don't know were to stop, so I decided it must be here. Honestly, I could choose a dozen more women I know and write some amazing things about them.

So my title was "Why I'm the Worst Mom/Woman I Know", and the inspiration came from many conversations with women leading me to see that we all think we are terrible, awful, bad or just plain crumby, while everyone else is so amazing. Well, that is half true. Everyone else is amazing. Different amazing. Each of these women sound almost perfect here, and frankly that's how I see them. Except they aren't. That is how they see themselves. The truth is, we are all flawed. But if we are seeking to serve and to love, to give of ourselves in any way, people will see those good things about us. If a few people that don't know us very well see the superficial flaws we have and make judgments based on those, they are the ones that will suffer. They are the ones that won't get to know how amazing we truly are.

So if you are having one of those days when everyone you know seems so perfect and you feel so unable to compete, read about my friends. Then realize, someone else thinks these same things about you.

Occupy Wall Street?

2011-10-16T01:26:00.002-04:00

I do not follow the news. I do not listen to the radio, watch TV or read news related internet articles. I do not follow politics when I can help it. I am NOT a financial guru.

Now that my official disclaimer is stated: I decided that maybe since this Occupy Wall Street thing seemed to still be happening, I should read up on it. So I did. I went to their (whoever they are) site and read some of the, admittedly heartbreaking, stories. I read some "news" sources reports on the "occupation" or "movement". Yep, I'm still confused. But at least I know a thing or two and believe a few other things. Maybe what I know could be helpful. Maybe it will just make them angry. Maybe what I think will just make you angry. Who knows. But here goes.

First what I think: I was tempted to think at first that this was a group of lazy people unwilling to work and upset at the people who did work and made their fortunes. Now I think it's a group of people who have so bought the lies we've been told by the people "selling" that now they somehow think the government is supposed to fix their problems. What lies? Mostly about debt. We've been told lies about debt for years. According to most of the stories I read, it is largely student loan debt (possibly because credit card debt doesn't make people as sympathetic?). I have student loans, too. Not as many as some people, but still more than I really have the extra cash to pay for. Yet, somehow people have decided that the government is to blame because I took out student loans? You know why I only have a comparatively small amount of student loans? Because I was poor growing up and got good grades in high school and got a lot of scholarships.

Did you read that right? Yes, I said I was poor growing up and so I got scholarships. Wait? We are being sold the lie that the lower class are the kids who need loans for college. Not true. ALL of my loans paid for my summer abroad studying education in England (which was totally awesome and totally worth my husband having to pay for now). Yep, my trip to Europe is what we are paying for. I didn't have to go. I would have gotten a great degree (with Honors) from a reputable (state) college resulting in a decent paying job in education even without the trip to Europe.

My hubby has as much student loans to pay as I do (maybe slightly more). He wasn't poor growing up. Nope. He was middle class all the way. His parents made decent money, a 2 income family. They weren't super wealthy, but they were not thousands of dollars below the poverty line like mine. So, why did he get loans? Simply because his parents had not saved enough to pay for his education (at state schools mind you). And because he was not a good student and received no scholarships.

Here is another difference in our two stories. I graduated in 4 years with honors, high GPA, latin words, the whole nine yards and got a teaching job making decent (for fresh out of college) money. He attended for 6 years, finally stopped and got a job in IT making the same money I was making. In 10 years of learning on the job and being a generally dedicated learner and worker, he has more than doubled what he started at (not really a huge stretch, but better than 10 years at minimum wage). I have left the job that was earned by my degree and am staying home with my kids.

My point? Glad you asked. My point is student loans alone are not the problem and the government isn't the answer. Our combined student loans are less than many of these "middle class" college kids' loans were for one year of school. I agree they were lied to and convinced student loans were the answer, but where is the accountability for making stupid choices? Everyone likes to promote the "'poor' kids can't pay for college and need student loans, then get stuck with the bad economy" story. I beg to differ. I would have gone to college scott free if it weren't for my summer abroad. Hardly a necessity and I take full responsibility for that decision.

So I've digressed a bit. Ok, a lot. Next, I believe these "kids" have been lied to by the "You have to have everything" advertisers so that they felt that going to a private college, buying fancy computers and living in apartments were great expenditures of their student loan money. We bought a computer with student loan money. It was stupid. We are still paying for a computer that no longer exists. OUR dumb decision.

They were lied to growing up thinking that when they left their (parents') nice little middle income home they would enter their own little middle income home with all the amenities their parents worked 20 years to afford. Gee, we did that, too. Yup, credit cards! That took a long time to get out from under. Buying nice things because he (the hubby) was used to them and I liked being spoiled. OUR dumb decision.

But mostly, I think, they were lied to in the idea that they somehow have gotten that 1) the government is supposed to fix their lives and 2) anyone who has managed to make money should be punished because they (the 99percenters) couldn't.

I think if the government would stay out of business more, not interfere more, we just might see a few things about this capitalism that make sense.

So now, for what I know: It's precious little.

I know that you have basically 2 real economic choices, capitalism and socialism. I know that socialism has not worked in many, many countries around the world. I know that governments don't actually make money, they acquire it from the people who have it and spend it doing things, some good, some bad.

I know that the government gets its money from people that have it. Yes, I know I said that, but I wanted to make that clear. There is all this talk about the rich should pay more percentage-wise than the middle class because somehow we need to punish them for being rich. Here's what I know about math: 10% of $50,000 is $500. 10% of $5,000,000 is $50,000. So if, hypothetically speaking, I make $50,000 and we have flat tax rate of 10% I pay the govnerment $500. If you make $5,000,000 you pay, on the same flat rate scale, $50,000 or about what I make in a year you pay in taxes in a year. So now, why would I want you to pay say 20% or $100,000? (I'm not lobbying flat tax, just removing variables for discussion purposes).

I can hear it now "But the loopholes, the tax write offs, the incentives...." Okay, again with made up figures to make a point. Let's say that you own a company and your annual income, you yourself not your company, is $5,000,000. Now that's pretty nice and in our scenario you owe $50,000 in taxes. Your wise tax accountant (who you pay a lot of money to and provide with an income so that he can pay taxes) finds a loophole and saves you $25,000 of that. Great! Now, since you are stinking rich, not only do you pay an accountant a great deal of money, but you have a nice house. And nice cars. So with the saved $25,000 you hire a housekeeper. Now the government doesn't have your income, but this girl does and the government doesn't support her. Now you also have a cook, a pool boy, a chauffeur, a butler, a guy who brings you the paper, whatever your little heart desires. All these people would much rather work for you than not have a job, obviously because that is the choice they have made, so you are employing maybe 10 full time staff. Hmmm, you save $25,000 of the $50,000 you should have paid, but pay salaries on 10 people who may, or may not, pay taxes on that money but are not being supported by the government.

Pretend for a moment that the government decides this is unfair, takes away your fortunes, gives you the same amount of money as the guy who brings you your paper and gives you a nice little job to do to earn that mediocre salary. Do you suddenly feel compelled to work your best? Work as hard as you can? Improve your standing and help others? Or do you do the bare minimum and come home each night to watch the government programs on TV like everyone else? Now the government is paying you to do no more than anyone else and your hard work and determination that built you up to a billionaire to start with get you no better off than the guy who wasn't interested in working in the first place.

Oh, wait. Do you remember what I said? The government doesn't make money, they get it from the people who have it? Well, now, once all the nation's wealth has been redistributed, who has money to give to the government to pay their own salary? It's like trying to pick yourself up off the ground. Try it, I'll wait. Did it work?

Do Service Points Expire?

2011-10-15T00:00:00.001-04:00

There is a terrific blog that I follow called A Slob Comes Clean in which the author gives great tips, suggestions and advice that she discovers on her journey away from slobdom. In one of her blog posts, which I highly recommend you read (but only if you promise to finish reading this post when you are finished) she talks about how All Housekeeping Points Expire at Midnight. I don't want to ruin her witty prose for you, but in short she explains how those of us who tend to have difficulty keeping our house clean sometimes are ruined by a productive day. I know for me, when I have worked really hard and made a huge improvement in one day in my home, I tend to waste away the next day. See, sometimes we tend to rest on the efforts of the past. We sometimes think that what we have already done gets us out of doing something else in the future.

As I was musing over this idea the other day I realized this thought can invade our service life as well as our housekeeping. Have you ever thought, "Someone should really (insert idea here), but I'm not going to because I already (insert heroic action here) so I've done enough"? No? I didn't think so. Not you, I'm actually talking to that other person. You know, Her. She is the one who reminds everyone of the fact that she served faithfully in her church for 10 years, 20 years ago, so she doesn't need to serve now. That is an extreme example. I am sure most of us would not be able to relate to that. But sometimes I am Her. Sometimes I think, I've done enough.

There is truth to that fact that we need to guard ourselves from overcommitment and from interfering with our family's needs. We need to be sure we aren't taking on roles that God intended someone else to do. Sometimes we fill a need that God doesn't want us to fill because we aren't listening, seeking His guidance. In doing so we interfere with a blessing God had intended for someone else. There are legitimate times not to serve.

But sometimes we are using our past service to excuse things we don't want to do. Okay, again, not you, but her. I know I have been her. I have thought "I don't need to volunteer to help with the Women's Ministry Christmas dinner, because I have helped with Children's Ministry." I am certain that sometimes I have lost out on a blessing God had intended for me because I have used the excuse of past, or even current, service to avoid serving elsewhere.

God doesn't put our skills, our gifts or our passions in a little box labeled "Children's Ministry" or "Women's Ministry" or even "Church Ministry". God sends us opportunities to grow and be blessed disguised as service opportunities. It seems to me that it is a rare event when God uses us to do something but doesn't have a plan to impact us in the process.

We do need to be aware of using "service" as a way to hide from the world or of taking on more than God is calling. But we need to stop using our past service as an excuse to avoid the next thing God is asking us to do. Or maybe that is just me.

Award Winning Raw Apple Cake Recipe

2011-10-11T23:27:00.000-04:00

Here it is! The moment you have all been waiting for! I am going to share a secret, award winning recipe that will leave anyone who tries it impressed. Yes, it is really that good. I've never met anyone who didn't rave over this recipe. It is amazing. I've never seen anyone make it other than my mother in law and now me. I know there are others of you out there, and I hope soon that there will be many more of you. This recipe truly is killer.

RawApple Cake

4 c. apples chopped fine
2 c. sugar
mix together let stand 30 min. (Honestly, it doesn't always have to sit quite that long, just needs to make a good juice.)

Sift together:
2 c flour
2 tsp soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt

Add dry ingredients and
2 beaten eggs to apple mixture. Stir only to blend well. Pour intoprepared 9 x 13 pan.
Bake 350 for 40 minutes.

Topping:
1/2 c. white sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
2 Tbsp flour
1 stick Margarine (I actually use butter, it is just as good, either works)
1 c water
(1 teaspoon Vanilla to add at end)
Cook until thick, stirring constantly. Add 1 teaspoon Vanilla. Pourover hot cake.

Warning, this cake does not look good. I would post picture, but I am afraid it would drive some people away from trying it. You may have to force some people to try it. (I am one. I didn't try it the first few times, but now I LOVE it!)

This is hands down my husband's favorite cake, maybe all time favorite dessert. Happy Eating! (I would love to see other fall apple/pumpkin kinds of dessert ideas from anyone who wants to post their own yummy recipes.)

Update: The year I won the coveted Golden Spatula for this recipe, my dear friend Amanda from Cooking Three Handed also won the Golden Ladle for her Chili recipe posted here. Check it out and say hello!

Doubt?

2011-10-04T16:09:00.001-04:00

Why is it so easy to get discouraged despite the obvious fact that God is working great things? How can I have such great joy in one area of my life where it is so amazingly clear that God has restored peace and hope and brought joy and excitement, and yet feel so discouraged in other areas? How can I see God's glory as He cleans up messes, meanwhile despairing of the messes I have that yet need cleaned up? Is my faith really so small that I cannot believe, or choose to not believe, that God is working in all the areas? Do I limit God by thinking he only has enough time, energy or focus to fix one area of my life at a time? Do I doubt His ability? Or is it His desire I doubt?

These are the questions that I ask myself as I feel so distraught over some, rather tiny I suppose, issues in my life and yet simultaneously feel more joy than I have felt in a very long time. How can I see what God has done for me and those I love and despair that I cannot handle these other issues alone? Do I forget that God isn't calling me to do anything alone? Do I forget that He who restores hope restores finances and relationships?
Why is it so easy to put God in this place and that situation, but forget to invite him into that other situation, the one you want to forget?

Now is the time that I need to remind myself of one of my favorite sayings: "God is good, ALL the time!" and to remind myself of a verse I need to hear from time to time: "Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10.

So I'm writing this as a reminder, God is Good! It is His job to fix the world. The joy of the Lord IS my strength. I'm going to pick up and dust myself off, try not to worry about the things I can't change and try to follow what God has planned for my life. Sounds easy enough...

A Simple Story

2011-09-19T23:58:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl. Her name was Sally. Sally lived in a house with her mom, dad, 2 brothers, 6 cats and one rather large hippo. They lived in a rather large house.

Sally loved to play tea party with her mom, play golf with her dad and play tag with her brothers. She enjoyed playing dress-up with her cats on rainy afternoons (the cats, however, did not much enjoy this and would try, often unsuccessfully to hide under the couch or behind the dryer).

But by far her favorite thing to do was play "ballerina:" with her hippo. Her hippo was named Eustace Eugene Englebert. You didn't expect an animal so large to have a small, common name like Fred did you?

Eustace Eugene Englebert was an expert ballerina. He could Plié, Dégagé and Fondu like the most famous of all ballerinas. He was light on his huge, enormous feet and made all aspiring ballerinas jealous. So of course Sally loved to dance with him.

Then, one bright, sunshiny Wednesday afternoon, Eustace Eugene Englebert fell down. When Eustace Eugene Englebert fell, it was not a small bump like when you or I fall. No, in fact, when Eustace Eugene Englebert fell, it shook the entire block. People came outside to see if it was an earthquake. Several people noticed poor Eustace Eugene Englebert lying on the ground near the apple tree. Many neighbors came running over to see what had happened.

Poor Eustace Eugene Englebert! He couldn't get up. All he could do was lie there in the grass and cry.

Sally ran to Eustace Eugene Englebert and begged him to try to get up. He just stayed there, crying and covering his eyes with his enormous front feet. Sally knew he was embarrassed with all the crowd gathered around. She also knew that she couldn't help Eustace Eugene Englebert stand up alone.

Oh, what to do? The local veterinarian happened to live across the street. Dr. Wolfe came over to make sure Eustace Eugene Englebert hadn't actually damaged any bones. When he had pronounced Eustace Eugene Englebert to be in fine health, Sally knew she had to convince Eustace Eugene Englebert to stand up. But how? He was so embarrassed.

Suddenly, an idea came to Sally. She ran to her friend Joey, whose dad happened to be the school principal. She whispered her idea to Joey. He agreed and ran to his dad and whispered the idea to him. After thinking for a few moments, Joey's dad, Mr. Board, smiled and agreed. Mr. Board went to Miss Groove and chatted with her.

Miss Groove was the school theatre and dance instructor. She jumped up and down with giddiness over the idea. She ran to the 5 little girls and 3 little boys that had been having a private lesson with her just moments before and discussed it with them.

They all beamed and bounced and agreed that this was the best idea ever. The group of kids ran to Sally and poor Eustace Eugene Englebert. The children began to dance and twirl and spin in front of the poor hippo. They practiced all their best moves. Eustace Eugene Englebert stopped crying long enough to see what they were doing. When the children saw that Eustace Eugene Englebert was watching, they stopped and began to plead with Sally, quite loudly to ensure that Eustace Eugene Englebert could hear every word, to let Eustace Eugene Englebert help them perform their spring recital in 9 days. Sally, who of course had orchestrated the whole thing, pretended to be concerned that Eustace Eugene Englebert might not be able to dance, having fallen so recently. The children pretended to be sad and begged further, knowing all the time that this was Sally's big plan.

While Sally stood, her back to Eustace Eugene Englebert, slowly and sadly shaking her head to the children, Eustace Eugene Englebert slowly began to stand. Sally pretended she could not hear him standing. She said she was very sorry, but if Eustace Eugene Englebert was hurt too much to stand up, there was no way he could dance in a mere 9 days!

Sally, hearing much commotion from the neighbors, turned around to see her rather large hippo dancing behind her! He did his finest moves, showing off each bend and stretch and twirl with great joy and pleasure. The children laughed! Miss Groove bounced up and down! Mr. Board rubbed his hands together excitedly! Yes! This would be the best spring recital ever to take place at Sunnyside Elementary School!

Sally stood back and smiled realizing that sometimes all it takes to help us get up when we fall down is the love and encouragement of our friends, family and neighbors.

My God - Restorer of Hope

2011-08-28T23:57:00.000-04:00

It's 11:30 on a Sunday night. I have an early morning coming after a long weekend. I have a lot to do. Yet, here I sit. Why? Because God did something amazing for me this weekend and I need to share.

God gave me renewed hope, brought some wonderful people into my life and spoke into the lives of many that I care about. God is good. And God is doing good things in the lives of His people.

Our church had a guest speaker this weekend. He was very good. Not like the super best speaker ever, but very very good. I think it is the fact that he wasn't the BEST but very good that actually helped God's light shine through. See, I wasn't so much distracted by the man as we sometimes can be. I was able to see God and hear a few things along the way.

God, through words spoken over many of the youth of our church, renewed my hope and vision for the children of our church. They are not the future of the church, they are part of The Church today. Hearing what God wanted to say to these amazing kids, young adults, in the presence of our body really softened my heart.

God softened my heart in a few other areas and helped me truly work down a path of forgiveness that I need to be walking down, perhaps more quickly than I have been.

God brought a beautiful family whom I love and have prayed for during these last many months back home to visit our family. I saw God working restoration in them and us. I saw God blessing them and us. That alone would have made my weekend, the visit of one family would have been enough. But not for God.

God began, or perhaps continued, healing some hearts that have been agonizing. He spoke life and love and hope into hearts that were broken. I saw amazing personal heart change that showed on the faces of those I care about.

God allowed me the opportunity to reach out to a church member and remind her of how adored she is. He allowed me to speak a few kind words of truth to her heart to help calm a worried spirit. God allowed her the opportunity to do something she loves, give. God is restoring things there as well.

God helped the people of our church family throw a baby shower for a woman most of them had never met, just to show His love. He got many people to work together to bless one small, young family with His heart for His people. This alone knocked my socks off.

God brought another family that I love to the shower. This was in itself a healing, restoring process. For many. God restored some things that were taken from this family, or so I think. I suppose I could be mispeaking, but I do not think I am.

God allowed a friend flag me down in town and stop just to say hi, reminding me how precious one person and one family is in the Kingdom of God.

God started another precious family on an amazing voyage of discovery, sending them to find what He is calling them to next. He gave me peace to know that they are in His hands, a heart to love them and the knowledge that they are still part of our body, the Body of Christ. I am excited to see where He calls them to next and hear what He has in store for them as they seek Him.

And, though this is little, God gave me a small moment for intellectual exercise in His word, to think and ponder and wonder.

God is good. God is GOOD!!!

More Long Winded Ramblings of a Tired Mommy

2011-08-27T00:34:00.000-04:00

     I have recently been pondering many difficult questions of life. Yet, I wonder, as difficult as these are, how important are they? How much of our life is spent in deep despair, consternation or just plain aggravation over things with no lasting eternal value.
       As I contemplate that, I begin to go through the rather major events in my life right now. A lot has changed. A lot is changing. A lot more will change when I least expect it. This leaves me unsettled as I detest change. I hate it. I am sure most of us would say the same thing. Change leaves us unsettled and uncertain. Even good change brings with it a certain amount of sadness.
     Over the last 4 years or so, I have endured more change than I thought was possible. Some good, some incredibly painful and some down right angrifying. (Like that, I couldn't think of a good word.) And I know that above many people's problem with change, I have to add an additional problem that others may not. I like to have control.
     I know, we all do, right? Who doesn't want to choose what we watch on TV or eat for dinner? Frankly, me. I don't care about those things, but things that seem of vital importance to me, well, I want them done my way. Not just done well, done well my way.
     I am a perfectionist. I demand perfection in myself and fail to achieve it every time. I know perfect is impossible, but I never feel as though I've done it well enough. I don't demand perfection of others, in fact I tend to give much grace, too much I've been told.
     So, what is my point? I warned you in the header, this is a blog of my ramblings, you might want to stop while you are still ahead.
     My point, as you ask, is I have recently been, well accused is a bit harsh. Let's say that it has been said of me that I am a "controlling woman". I hardly can say that without laughing!
     Now you are confused. I can see it in your eyes. Ok, I can't really see your eyes, but I'm just guessing. "How can a woman who admits she likes to be in control laugh at the thought of being a controlling woman?"
     Good question. So I've been asking myself. If I really think this assessment of me is wrong, yet I openly admit to anyone interested enough to listen or read my blog (so a whole like 8 people) that I like to be in control, how can I be upset by being labelled a "Controlling Woman"?

     Oh, wait, you are waiting for the answer? Well, I'm not sure I have it entirely. But I have spent the day pondering this very thing. Because right now in my world, it really matters to me. And it just might matter to others that matter to me. (See, I started a sentence with But, Because and And. Rule breaker!!! Sorry, humor me, it's late.)

     Here's what I think. I think we all want some control. We all want things to go the right way. Most of us think we know what that way is. Some others of you are blessed with the gift of "it doesn't really matter". Some of use are not. So we make mountains of mole hills and control everything within our grasps. Yet I have a huge respect for chain of command and line of authority. I will complain, disagree and petition to be heard, but if the boss says "Do this" I do this. And I attempt (though often fail) to do this, without complaint.
     So I guess I want to be heard. And I want to know that my voice counts. And I want to know that the authority to whom I am submitting shares my conviction in the area in which I have submitted.
     So I want to be heard. Do I insist on having it my way? Honestly, no. I like it my way. But if the authority has heard me out and shares my heart, then I trust them and follow, knowing that it will work out in the end and this "issue" must be one of those of no eternal value type problems.
     Which brings us to the present. I have recently found myself in a leadership role within my church. It is not a new role for me, it is one in which I have functioned in the past and managed with some degree of success. In the interest of full disclosure, I was not asked to take this role, I chose to take it. This does help make the point of my "Controlling woman"ness. In the past when I have had this role, I have had a clear leader to whom I could turn that held the authority and I served under her (or him) with the authority bestowed upon me. Now I serve under a ruling board that I respect and admire. But there is not mediator between us. This makes me nervous. I don't want that much authority. See, I want to be heard, and I'm willing to step up and do a needed job. I'm willing to manage people and events (just not laundry). But I don't want to be the top authority reporting directly to the boss. I want to be down one on the food chain. This is an uncomfortable place.
     I don't strive for "power". I don't even really like it. Not really. I strive for quality. I know I have some skills and gifts given to me by God for His purposes, I just don't want to be the big boss. I want to be kind of in charge of some stuff, allowed the privilege to serve and listened to when my "expertise" is helpful.
     Even in my home, I am not a controlling wife. I manage (I chuckle as I type that) my home and make a huge portion of the daily running decisions, but I never, ever tell my husband what to do. I make suggestions. Sometimes forcefully. But I never let his decision to do something different cause division. I know that it isn't worth it. I've seen what I'm like when I let our disagreements on something as silly as room color eat at me. I'm not willing to go there in my marriage. Usually. I'm not perfect, but I see how not important most "arguements" are.
     See, I haven't forgotten, though you probably have, where we started. I have come full circle. I think what the difference between being controlling and having a desire to be in control is all about the perspective. I know, or try to, the things that are eternally important. When I begin making mountains out of mole hills, I begin to slide toward that controlling personality. When I get a grip and look at life in regards to the eternal value of the issue, I begin to slide back to the "I want input, but will follow the leader" side.

     Now, if I could learn to control the environment directly around me (aka my home) as much as I would like to control the world, I'd be set.

10 Reasons I Shouldn't Be Writing This

2011-08-23T22:58:00.000-04:00

In the past few years I have really come to enjoy writing. I've always found that putting words "on paper" (even virtually so to speak) comes easily to me. I can ramble on endlessly in writing. I don't claim to be good at it, just to enjoy the process. I began blogging as an outlet for my writing. I have lately become slightly obsessed with my blog, trying to make it more me and yet more interesting to a larger audience, should I some day have one. Yet, I often find that the time I spend blogging detracts from other areas of my life. So today I decided to write a Top Ten list (in no particular order) of reasons I should NOT be blogging right now.

1.    I have a sink (and counter) full of dirty dishes.
2.    I have math to do. Well, I have math to grade. My 10 year old will expect to know tomorrow how she did today.
3.    I have lessons to plan. As my son and I can't seem to keep track of silly items like his phonics book, so I need to find him some school work.
4.    I have a LOT of laundry, clean, in my room that I need to handle. Ugh. Not more interesting than writing.
5.    I have a LOT of laundry, dirty, that needs washed and purged. NOT more interesting than writing.
6.    I have a cute baby I could cuddle. Of course I am watching him kick and play next to me, so it's not too bad.
7.    I have a really tired husband that needs to go to bed, but would rather stay up with me.
8.    I have a school room to reorganize.
9.    My living room looks like a laundry mat exploded in it. Someone should really do something about that.
10. My children are refusing to go to sleep and I shall have to deal with them.

I did manage to put off writing the list until school was done, dinner was over and kids were sent to bed. Yay me!

What things do you find to get in the way of things you would rather not do, or even things you enjoy doing but get put off?

The Hard Times

2011-08-17T17:22:00.027-04:00

Why? How many times have we all asked "Why?" Especially we ask why God allows certain painful or sad things. I am no theologian. I cannot pretend to use the bible to give good, solid answers. I have, however, formulated an opinion on this matter.

Have you ever watched people come together in a crisis? My husband's family experienced this many years ago. My husband's cousin was seriously injured in a parakiting accident. He was lucky to survive. It was a long, painful recovery, for the boy and his family. What really sticks out about this is how all the area farmers, family friends, jumped in to help care for their farms sending equipment and men to handle all that needed done in the family's time of need. This happens over and over in the farming community. They draw together to help their own.

The same thing happens in churches. Illness and loss brings people together to love on one another, often much more so than the joyful times. People will bring so much food to a funeral dinner that the family doesn't have to cook for days. In these moments, the grieving feel the arms of God when their friends, and sometimes just acquaintances, reach out to them.

God gave us families to love and accept us, to encourage and help us. But in those really bad times, our family is in the grief with us, often unable to provide for our needs due to their own hurting. This is why community is so important. Sometimes community is your church. Sometimes it is your neighbors.

This brings me back to my theory. Remember I am not a theologian. I cannot cite scripture to support this. I don't know why God allows bad things, but I wonder if it is perhaps at least partly to allow us to come together and meet one another's needs. And, maybe, just maybe, it is also to help us remember what is really important in life.

Sometimes the timing seems to compound the pain. For example, my husband's dearly loved grandmother had a heart attack at my bridal shower and passed away one month before my wedding. My husband had to deal with the loss of his grandmother on top of the stress of planning a wedding. My mother-in-law had to with the sudden, unexpected loss of a very dear loved one while dealing with the emotions that go with the marrying off of her eldest son.

These are the times I especially think that maybe God is helping us to see that certain things that can draw our focus so intently, though important and good, are so much less important than family and friends. And perhaps that faith in God as our strength and provider is THE most important thing.

10 Thoughts on Marriage

2011-08-16T09:26:00.001-04:00

I am no expert on marriage, after all I have only been married once. (That's a joke, not intended to offend those of you on your second or third marriage.) I am happily married and have been married for 15 years. I have 6 children and they all know that I am totally in love with their father. So though I am no expert, I have opinions and ideas that have worked well for me. Here they are, my 10 Thoughts on Marriage.

1. With God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26) No matter the state of your marriage, God can fix it. He is the healer and restorer of broken hearts.

2. Without God, I'm not really sure how two sinful, selfish people ever expect to make it. Maybe other people can figure out how to put aside their selfish nature and seek first the happiness of of another without the help God, but I'm just not sure how. Before I knew God, my marriage was good. But then, it was new. We were happy enough the first 5 years, but looking back I can see the road we were heading down would never have worked.

3. Children are a blessing of a happy marriage, not a ticket to a happy marriage. Having a baby will not fix a bad marriage, nor improve an already good marriage. Children add stress as well as joy to a couple's lives. The inability to have children adds even more stress to a marriage. Your marriage needs to be strong and happy independent of children.

4. Don't let the other adult living in your house be a stranger when the children move out. Children will be a huge focus for about 20 years, then you have the next 20+ that you still have to be able to live with this other person. There will be days, sometimes many back to back, where you must give more focus to the children than your spouse, but you must make time for your spouse. My children love and are comforted by the fact that my husband and I adore each other. It makes them feel secure.

5. Your spouse should be your best friend. See number four. There may be times you need to talk to a woman (or man) about things your husband (or wife) doesn't understand, but your spouse should share the secrets of your heart. He should be the one in whom you confide your fears and the one with whom you share your joys and successes as well as your heartbreaks and failures.

6. Men and women are different. Deal with it. Try to appreciate it.

7. Marriage isn't 50/50. It is 100/100. On the days that you can only give 20% your spouse has to give 80% so that on the days he can only give 20% you can give 80%. If you are looking to get what you give in a marriage, you will always be disappointed.

8. It's a good thing your spouse isn't perfect or he(she) would never have chosen to marry you. I'm thinking this shouldn't need any more explanation. You know you. If you are honest, I'm guessing you know what I mean.

9. Forgiveness is essential. Even when you don't want to. Perhaps especially when you don't want to. See number 1.

10. Laugh. Play, have fun. This is probably the hardest for me. Sometimes you have to let your husband chase you down with a garden hose. Laughter helps with the joy. It helps children feel happy and secure. It is essential for a healthy heart.

A Note to All the Children in the World

2011-08-09T06:26:00.000-04:00

I came from a family of 5 kids. I have 6 kids. I would like to address a few things children who have at least one sibling need to know. If you are or have an only child, many of these things may be true for you as well, I just can't speak to that as having no experience as such. Now, the more children in your family, the more amplified these statements become.

1. If you have a sibling, you might as well forget your name as you will rarely be called by it. Just give it up, realize you will forever be "Be-Suzann!" or "Z-Allison!". Don't bother correcting your parent. They don't much care what your name is. After all, they gave it to you, they ought to have the right to revoke it at any time. And no, don't bother with nametags. Sure you might think it's cute now, but when your parent is flustered with dinner burning, baby crying, phone ringing and someone at the door, they have lost the ability to read and are just as likely to revert back to "YOU!"

2. If you have siblings, remember this, your parents really do love you best. It's true. You are their favorite. Sure, there may be 10 of you, but you are their favorite.

3. When you think you would love 5 minutes of peace in the bathroom and think "I will never be alone!" just remember you will NEVER be alone.

4. When you are a grown up, you don't have to like these people. But it sure is nice if you do.

5. Everyone must make choices with their income, from the wealthiest to the poorest. If your parents chose family over stuff, count yourself very lucky to have parents who value you more than TVs, cars, vacations and dinners out. The younger you are in the family, the more this probably means to you. When you realize that the whole world thinks your parents are crazy for having 6 kids and you are number 6, it just ought to make you feel lucky to have crazy parents.

6. Your parents are human. They love you more than you can know, unless you have children. They have a huge weight on their shoulders and trying to make sure you got exactly the same number of peas as Bobby and not 2 more is not on their grand list of concerns.

7. If your parents have forgotten exactly when your first tooth came in, forgive them. I bet they haven't forgotten the day you came in!

8. No matter how many of you there are, or how often your name gets butchered, or whether they can remember whose shirt is whose, your parents would not trade you, even on your bad days, for anyone else in this world.

And lastly, a note to the parents:
The grass is always greener and someone else's kids are always cleaner.

I'm linking this up at These Five of Mine Plus Two. Check them out for more Handful of Heart link ups.

Pain, Truth, Love and Light

2011-07-31T22:52:00.000-04:00

This is not a fun post. My heart hurts. I'm watching worlds fall apart in the lives of so many people that I care about. Friends of mine are hurting and grieving. Many, many friends. My heart hurts and I am angry.

I am angry not at flesh and blood, because I believe the bible when it says in Ephesians 6:12:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

I am not angry at the people doing the things that are hurting my friends. Okay, I'm a little angry at the people, but I'm trying not to be. I'm angry at satan. Satan is trying to destroy much that I hold dear and he's using people I love to do so. Satan is the father of lies. He brings death and destruction. (John 10:10)

My heart is hurting for so many people that are unaware of the truth or are being deceived. My prayer is for God in all His glory to reveal light and truth. This deception is causing more than a little pain.

Friends are mistrusting one another. People's motives are being questioned. It reminds me of the story of the serpent asking Eve "Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” We are questioning ourselves "Was that really what God said?" And satan is questioning us "Is that really what happened? Whom do you really trust? Is it really that bad?"

During our family bible reading tonight (Job) my 5 year old said "So Satan is evil in this story." I replied with "Yes, Satan is always evil." Then my little girl, very bright and perceptive as she is said the words that made my heart fall: "But Satan used to be an angel. He's a fallen angel."

In light of the pain being experienced in my circle of friends and the mistrust of one another I see this statement with its great weight. Satan was an angel. He fell. His pride led to his fall. If an angel can fall from God, how much more easily can we? It is no wonder great men of history have collapsed and average men have destroyed their lives and families. It is no wonder we can be caused to gossip and murmur about who is saying what and who is talking to whom about what. No wonder we can let the father of lies whisper in our ears and turn us against our friends, our brothers and sisters.

But I am joyful. I do not rejoice in the pain of people I love. There is no win for anyone involved in this. At least not now. I rejoice because, with God and if we trust Him above all else, there IS a win, a win for all involved. God can use this so that ALL come out better in the future, not despite but because of the pain. I rejoice because God is in control. He loves us and knows all, He knows our hearts and loves us all the more. I rejoice because in Him is truth and life and there is no other way.

The Heart of the Matter

2011-07-27T07:05:00.000-04:00

When one of my children was very young, I won't say which to protect the guilty, he had a habit of trying to lie to me. The problem was, he wasn't very good at it. You could always tell when he was lying. I would talk to him about being honest and ruining my trust, but the truth was, I didn't worry much because he simply never could get away with it. So for several years he quit lying. If anyone told me he did something and he denied it, I trusted him because I had no reason not to.

Then came the day that I discovered he had lied about something and I had trusted him. My trust was shattered. I told him I couldn't trust him and had to verify everything he told me. After a while it became apparent that he was lying, and sneaking, much more than I thought. Every time I gave him a chance to regain my trust, he would ruin it by lying again.

I have really be struggling with this with him because I know that trustworthiness is a part of your integrity. Integrity isn't what you do, it is who you are. When you give people reason to doubt your word once or twice, they begin to question every thing you ever told them.

Have you ever had a friend who told you things about their past, then through the course of events in life, you discover that they are less then truthful or perhaps tend to shade events to protect themselves from looking bad? It makes you begin to look at and question the things they have already told you.

Let's look at a hypothetical, silly example. Let's pretend you have a friend named Sally. You get a new haircut and Sally says it's lovely. You go shopping with Sally and she tells you that the outfit you are trying on looks great on you. One day you overhear Sally telling a mutual friend how nice her rather gaudy and outlandish outfit looks. Slightly surprised, you ask her about it. Sally's response is that she just likes to make people feel good so even though she thinks it looks rather bad, she tells her it looks great to make her feel better.

Suddenly. you wonder about all those clothes she helped you choose. Every time you dress in that outfit, you worry that it really looks awful. Each and every thing she has told you becomes suspect. Does my new hair color really look natural? Does this shirt really look good with those pants? Does that skirt really make me look thinner? You find your desire to be with Sally has suddenly diminished. You no longer trust her and wonder what else she might me misleading you about.

Every time you sell out a small piece of yourself for gain, whether it be monetarily, for chocolate, for the admiration of a friend or whatever, you destroy a piece of your integrity. It becomes easier and easier to do until the day comes when you have no integrity at all. Once you begin crossing that line, you begin a long slippery ride without an emergency stop button.

Look into your heart and life today. Begin to pluck away those little areas in which you are untrustworthy or dishonest. Realize that there may well come a day when your heart will become known to the world and you really want that heart to be shown to be filled with integrity, not deceit and dishonor.

Cheaper Than Dirt

2011-07-23T19:01:00.000-04:00

This is an interactive blog post. Reading this is a non-binding agreement to submit your own tip.

I am cheap. Some people would like to call me thrifty, but I'm really just cheap. I'm also lazy. Sometimes it's hard to decide if I am more cheap or more lazy. This blog post is an attempt to get you, my dear readers, to interact with one another and me and give us your frugal, thrifty or even plain cheap tricks to save money. However, I request that you give easy suggestions, as I am too lazy to work very hard.

Here is my tip: Homemade Laundry Soap
I found this recipe and love it. It is easy and super cheap. It costs about $2 for 10 gallons. There is an initial outlay of a little more money as I will explain after the recipe, but it still is minimal cost.

4 Cups - hot tap water
1 Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 Cup - Washing Soda
½ Cup Borax
- Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted.
-Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.
-Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel)
-Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.
-Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons.
-Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)
-Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads

Baking Soda will not work, nor will Arm & Hammer Detergent - It must be sodium carbonate.

We have had good luck finding washing soda and Fels-Naptha at Kroger and Rural King.

We got a FREE 5 gallon bucket from the Wal Mart bakery. The first one would not give us any, but another one gave us several, so ask at different locations. Bakeries get their frosting in 5 gallon buckets. I bought a special ladle that stores in my bucket with my soap.

The Borax and Washing Soda will cost you a few dollars each for initial outlay, but you will get many, many sets of this recipe out of one box of each. I have started using Borax and Washing soda for lots of things since I have it around now.

I put the undiluted stuff in a spray bottle to use as a pretreat for stains. It works quite well. I have an HE washer and I use it regularly. I was tired of spending so much money for those little bottles of laundry soap.

Now, it's your turn. Comment below and share your favorite cheap tip with us!

Mommy Wars

2011-07-21T00:49:00.000-04:00

A wise friend has told me "I don't get involved in Mommy wars." This is a sentiment I have been trying to follow for many years, yet it's easier said than done. Largely because it isn't just about your children. For some reason, at least in my world (the one in my head), there is an ongoing "mine is better than yours" battle.

I cannot remember anyone with whom I currently socialize ever making comparisons between their child and mine or their husband and mine or their church and mine with the intention of making me feel bad. So why do I sometimes?

I am declaring that life is too short to compare yourself, your spouse, your child, your home, your job or your church to another. No one and no situation is perfect. I do not need to constantly try to convince myself that my situation is as good as Jane Doe's. I am refusing to participate in this battle (even though it is just in my head) anymore.

I want those reading this to know, I endeavor to actually mean what I say and will presume you do as well. I will refuse to listen to the voice that says "Maybe they didn't mean that" or "What did they mean by that?"

We are called to live together and should be attempting to build one another rather than destroy one another. Since that is my desire, I am going to presume that it is the desire of those around me. I am wholeheartedly glad for my friends with great kids, husbands, jobs, homes, churches and know that I am content in my life just as it is.

Fiddler On The Roof

2011-07-15T00:34:00.000-04:00

Have you ever seen The Fiddler on the Roof? There is a scene in the movie that has really been making me think a lot lately.

Pondering the announcement by their daughter that she is in love, the husband and wife get into a discussion about their arranged marriage. The husband begins to ask "Do you love me?" The wife asks "After 25 years, why talk about love right now?" She goes into a list of all she has done with and for him and then questions herself "Do I love you?"

I think my favorite part is where she says "Do I love you? I'm your wife!" and he responds with "Yes, but do you love me?" After determining that they do in fact love one another, they end the scene with "It doesn't change a thing, but even so, after 25 years it's nice to know."

I have found myself pondering this scene for many reasons lately. The first is the idea of arranged marriages and "learning" to love your spouse. As a child I never understood how arranged marriages could work. How could they ever be happy? Didn't one need to fall in love and get all goosebumpy for a marriage to work? As an adult with 6 kids, I'm liking arranged marriages more and more.

But it's not so much the idea of someone else choosing your spouse for you that has recently been intriguing me. It is the idea of choosing to love the one to whom you are married. Perhaps you are thinking, "shouldn't you already love the one to whom you are married?" Perhaps. However, with the rate of divorce as it is, perhaps we need to redefine this idea of loving your spouse.

I know that there are married people who either don't love their spouse or, like the wife in this movie, question whether or not they do love their spouse. If that is you, take heart. There is hope. If you don't love your spouse, or don't know if you do, here is a simple plan to help you. Ready? Okay. Love your spouse.

See? Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy.

What? Not good enough? Okay, how about this. You have likely heard "love is a verb not a feeling" blah, blah, blah. Well the good news is it can be both.

You know those crazy people that actually like exercise? Why do they like it? Because at some time, they forced themselves to get up and do it. They forced the mechanics, made themselves run, walk, zumba, whatever. And on the days they were tired, they got up and exercised anyway. Soon, they discovered that they actually felt better after they exercised. They began to see that on days when they didn't exercise they felt yucky. At some point the mechanical act of forcing the behaviour of exercising rolled into an actual emotional and attitudinal change toward exercise.

Love is like that. Force yourself act in loving ways. Each day think of one thing that would be nice for your spouse and do that one thing. It doesn't have to be earth shattering. You may be surprised to find what small things it actually will take to show your spouse that you love him or her.

Early in our marriage, if I didn't have to work, I stayed in bed while my husband got up for work. He went to work and ate instant oatmeal at his desk. He ate PB & J at his desk for lunch, and if he was really lucky got to take me out for dinner. At some time I decided it would be nice to fix him breakfast. Now I get up (something I hate) and make breakfast for my husband. I pack his lunch, make his coffee and (usually, barring nasty weather) walk him to his car. If he's really lucky, he still gets to take me out for dinner. This little thing has changed our marriage. It shows love to him while allowing us a little alone time.

I don't tell you this to brag. On the contrary, I'm a miserable failure in dozens of other ways, but the fact that I make him a priority sort of hides some of my faults. He doesn't go out of his way to find things I'm doing wrong. The mechanical discipline of getting up to show love to my husband by making breakfast and lunch has become an emotional connection for us.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to ask my spouse in 25 years "Do you love me?" I definitely don't want him to ever have to ask me "Do you love me?"

Looking Back, the View after 15 Years.

2011-07-10T06:56:00.000-04:00

I spent yesterday at a pow wow with my family. If you've never attended a pow wow, you should take the opportunity to do so sometime. It's an interesting event to view.

My husband and I met somewhere around 20 years ago in the pow wow world. I was 16 and he was 15 when we fell head over heals deeply in love. Or so I thought. Who knows the heart of a teenager. They are crazy. But I do know that it is to this world of pow wows and friends that I owe my opportunity to meet the man who was to become my husband. Okay, honestly it was to the great and awesome God who orchestrated the whole thing. It amazes me that while I did not yet know Him, He was situating me for a future life so full of His blessings that I would be unable to deny Him, not that I want to.

I can pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with my husband. I remember exactly where we were and the circumstances surrounding it. We were, surprise surprise, at a pow wow in Oklahoma. It was a dance that years later we would attend together as a freshly engaged couple. I remember that moment, sitting on that picnic table when I realized that I was in love with this kid.

We were such kids. Of course we wouldn't have believed that if you had told us that. We knew so much. We knew what we were going to be doing for the rest of our lives. We couldn't imagine a life where one didn't pow wow 6+ times a year. We loved our week long trips to Oklahoma, or our long weekend trips to Oklahoma. We even spent our honeymoon at a pow wow. Okay, not a pow wow, THE POW WOW. The biggest and best pow wow in this area, the National Pow Wow. This dance is held only once every 3 years. It is this same dance that we attended yesterday, 15 years and 6 kids after our honeymoon.

God is so awesome. I got to see a few old friends who I don't see much any more. I got to share something I used to love with my kids. I got to enjoy the music and dancing I often times miss.

Despite the fun I had, I got a much bigger message. About 8 years ago, my husband and I walked away from this life. The reasons are complicated. We didn't know at the time how complete our removal from this world was going to be. Where we once imagined ourselves raising our kids, we suddenly were no longer. I don't think either of us intended to remove ourselves so fully from this lifestyle. But it was several years before we returned with our kids to visit a life that had become so deeply ingrained in us.

Now, looking back, I can totally see God's hand and wisdom. We cannot believe some of the things that we thought were so important. We see danger and harm in things we once felt were so benign, even helpful. Now we see the bigger picture with our children and understand that the things that are such vital values and beliefs to us would be practically impossible for us to teach well in this environment. Not that others cannot. I know many good people in the pow wow circuit who love their children and teach them well. I am not criticizing them. However, I know that my husband and I would not have been able to do so.

God led us, without our knowledge or understanding, to walk away from that which would have been detrimental to our marriage and our children and led us toward a life far more fulfilling than we could ever have imagined.

I still miss my old life sometimes. I miss the fellowship, the late nights, the music, the dancing, the flashy clothes. We now feel more able than before to take our children out to experience this occasionally without getting pulled into all that goes with it.

But yesterday I was given a gift. God gave me the opportunity to fall more in love with Him, seeing much of what He has done without my understanding. God also gave me the opportunity to fall more in love with my husband, the man God gave me to share this life with.

I can truly say, as I watched my husband of 15 years dance around the arena carrying our 6th child in his arms, that I love him more now than I did during that National Pow Wow 1996, just days after marrying the man of my dreams.

More on Love and Relationships

2011-07-05T14:10:00.000-04:00

After a 6 month break and major crazy life chaos, I am returning to my challenge to help myself - and hopefully you - learn to love like the bible commands in I Corinthians 13. I urge you to reread my January post On Love and Relationships. I had to reread it myself.

In the first post, I challenged us to pray for God to show us ways to show patience to our loved ones. I must admit, that though I daily feel like I am failing, as I look back I see overall progress. I feel as though I am I offering my children more grace when they frustrate me, hurrying them less and in general losing my temper less. If you have been working on patience in relation to the I Corinthians model of love, please comment below on your successes. Encourage one another, you may well find it encourages you.

After "Love is patient", we find that "Love is kind." What does that mean? I honestly can't say I know. Today's challenge is to seek God in how He wants us to show kindness to the person you have challenged yourself to show more love toward. (If you feel lost, you really want to read or reread the previous article. Go to the Archive button in the left column and click January.)

According to an online dictionary, the following are synonyms for kindness: benignity, benevolence, humanity, generosity, charity, sympathy, compassion, tenderness, good turn. A person who is kind is described as being of a good or benevolent nature or disposition. Reading the synonyms still didn't help me a lot, so I looked up the antonyms. The opposite of kindness is malevolence or cruelty. Malevolence is defined as hatred. So the opposite of kindness is essentially hatred.

Wow. Now THAT spoke to me. So I began to wonder, is there a middle ground, a neutral? Something between kindness and hatred? The best I can find as a word that is neutral, somewhere between kindness and hatred is indifferent.

I'm not sure being indifferent toward your loved one isn't equally as bad as hating them. Honestly, who among us want to think our parents, our spouse or even our best friend is simply indifferent about us? Would you care if your parent didn't hate you, but was simply indifferent toward you? As if your very existence means nothing, good or bad, to them?

That may sound really harsh, but it seems to me you have 3 choices as to how you behave toward this person you have chosen to love better: with kindness, with hatred, or with indifference. Looking at it that way, I pray please Lord help me show kindness to my children each day. Help me to never cause them to feel as though I either hate them or that I am indifferent about their existence. Help me, today, to be the mom they need and You have created me to be.

Lessons

2011-06-30T00:34:00.000-04:00

Does it amaze anyone else how, what and whom God uses to teach us lessons? Have you ever heard someone, perhaps someone who tends to frustrate you, speak a word directly from God to your heart? Have you ever been called out in a sermon or simply a discussion with a group of friends? I don't mean like some one used your name as an example of what not to do. I mean the pastor is preaching a message on something and you are sure beyond sure that the pastor has your phone tapped?

Glad to know I'm the only one. There are times that if I didn't know my pastor was such a busy man, I would be convinced he spent days crafting a message just for me. Sometimes I feel guilty that others have to sit through messages that I know are intended just for me, surely no one else has this issue.

The truth is, God is incredibly creative about how he sends us these little lessons. Sometimes it is the obvious message of a pastor. Sometimes it's an encouraging text from your husband. Sometimes it's a facebook post made by a friend. And sometimes it is from your kids.

Many, many, many times I have heard myself speaking to my children and have heard God echoing in my ear.
"If you would have listened to me..."
"How many times do I have to tell you...."
"You didn't trust/believe me did you?"
"I don't enjoy punishing you, but you don't seem to learn when I tell you nicely."

I could go on, but really there is no need. If God wants you to get a message, He can find a way, or several, to get it to you. You just have to be willing to listen, watch, wait and pray.

I am often reminded of one of my favorite scenes in the movie "Bruce Almighty". Bruce is driving down a highway begging God for a sign. All along the road are huge signs, flashing signs, billboards saying "Stop" but all the while Bruce speeds on toward destruction begging for the signs he had already been given.

Do we live our life that way? Do we speed along, going to fast to see the clues God has given us to guide our lives?

Goodnight!

2011-06-11T00:52:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here thinking "I should go to bed." The problem with that is that the process of going to bed isn't as simple as it once was. Remember the days when you just went to bed? Now it's a whole procedure. As I write I have one darling baby sleeping, one adorable hubby "napping" in the chair and 5 kids quietly watching TV. It's quiet. Calm. Relaxing. As soon as I sound the "bedtime" bellow, I will surely be forced to endure the whining, crying, running, jumping and general noise making that goes with the news that it is, in fact, bedtime.

But along with the chaos of the bedtime routine comes the blessing that goes with it. My husband reads the bible to my kids each night. They all, down to the 4 year old, want to have a bible open to follow along. Recently my 10 and 11 year olds have wanted to read aloud some of our bible. As a homeschooling mom, it's a double pleasure to listen to your kids read the bible aloud. First to hear the child reading the word of God and secondly knowing that you are largely responsible for that ability. For one of my children, the ability and willingness to read aloud is very much a new trait.

It also very much blesses my heart to hear what each of them picks up from our reading. My 5 year old hears "weeping and gnashing of teeth" each time that it is read. It never gets by her! She picks up the oddest things. Last night she caught the word "human" and wanted to know what that means. I'm very amazed by what my 4 year old hears and catches. She is the one who you would really not think is ever listening, yet she never misses a thing nor does she ever forget a thing. The kids are able to recall what they've heard at church or elsewhere that goes with what we are discussing that night. They recall songs that are related to the reading for the night. It definitely amazes me nightly. I am blessed to have a husband who has made this a priority in our life, as I never would have.

After bible is prayer time. Each kid gets a night to sit on Daddy's lap and choose the order as to who will pray when. They enjoy creating new patterns and having the power to decide. It often amazes me what they think of to pray each night. Some get stuck in the same rut, but when encouraged, they can all think of new things to add.

Then come the hugs and kisses. Two hugs from each kid, one on each side (as Grandpa taught them when they were little). Never is life so good as when you have a line of children coming to give you hugs and kisses.

We do a lot of things wrong. There are a lot of things we want to do that we don't. But really, it is not about doing it all perfectly, or doing what that "Other" family does. It is about striving daily to bring your kids closer to God and closer to one another as a family. It is about valuing these moments and cherishing these memories before you regret letting it just go by.

Okay, bring on the herd, it's bedtime!

Too Much to Do

2011-06-07T12:09:00.004-04:00

I have a lot to do today. My living room looks like the rest of my house exploded in it. The problem is, so does every other room in my house. I desperately need to clean. So I'm blogging instead. Today's topic: My new baby.

Many of you who read this are friends who have been following the details of my baby's growth (or lack thereof) so you probably don't need to read this. The rest of you, well, you probably don't need to read it either. I'm mostly blogging now before I forget the details so it is preserved for later, when I need to recall it, for scrapbooking and such.

I gave birth in March to a beautiful baby boy. 8 lbs 13 oz (and no, he's not even close to my biggest). He was 23 inches long with big chubby cheeks. Admittedly, they did give me IV fluids which increased his birthweight, so he would have been closer to an 8 pounder.

At birth this baby was gassy and refused to eat. He didn't eat much at all in the hospital. My milk came in while we were still in the hospital, but ornery little squirt wasn't interested. Finally the lactation consultant showed me how to express in a little medicine cup and cup feed my newborn. This helped and after a cup feeding he would nurse a little better. This went on for a couple weeks. At each weekly check in he lost more weight. My doctor was great. She just kept having him brought in, encouraged nursing, but still no dice. Finally at 3 weeks little man was still losing weight. He was down to 7lb 4oz. The doctor said I needed to start adding formula, 2 oz each feeding. I nearly cried.

Sounds silly to be so upset by this, but I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't gain. He was finally eating well. He should have been gaining. After 4 days on formula we were up 3 oz. The doctor sighed contentedly at his one month, sure we had it all going up. At his 2 month recheck, we all were in for a shock as he was now down, again. Poor baby was a whopping 7 lbs even.

Time to restart the formula (we had weened off feeling sure he was doing better). after a week on extra formula, down another ounce. He was down to a low of 6 lbs 15 oz. Panic starts to set in as we move to premie - calorie formula. After 4 days we were up 5 ounces. RELIEF. Ten days after that, up another 4 ounces. Now we are back to 10-14 day rechecks. My over 8 pound baby at birth is now 2 1/2 months and is all of 7 lbs 8oz.

Oh, yeah, and my little guy has one big hernia. Yup, nice big fat bulge in the diaper area, discovered at his 1 month check. The surgeon and the pediatrician are uncomfortable doing surgery on, what we term as "the incredible shrinking baby" (yes, it sounds mean, but it helps deal with the stress a little). So we are now waiting for 4 months in hopes that he will gain and be at least 9 pounds by then.

Until then, we are nursing, pumping, giving formula and as often as possible mixing formula with breast milk. And praying. We are praying a lot. We have a lot of friends praying. But I have faith. He will grow. God gave my husband this little boy's name, and the verse for him.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew^[a] you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Who do I want to be when I grow up?

2011-05-26T20:25:00.003-04:00

Hopefully you've read my previous post on growing up. If not, feel free to do so now, I'll wait.

All done? Good. Scintillating wasn't it. Today as I was pondering life I realized that perhaps I've been looking for the answer to the wrong question. We often ask children, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" That puts the focus on some external, temporary goal. When I suddenly found myself no longer a teacher and "just" a mom, I was disoriented. The goal had been what I wanted to be: a teacher.

Truly we should be raising our kids, and ourselves, with the goal in mind "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" Truly, any idiot (no offense friends) can become a teacher. The "what" I wanted to be was all I thought about. The "who" I wanted to be never entered my mind. Today I realized who I want to be when I grow up.

As I describe who I want to be, I want you, the reader to know that as I describe each of these people, I am thinking of at least on real life person who exudes these attributes, but am not naming them to keep from embarrassing them. I am sure you know some of these women by their descriptions, perhaps some from your own life and your own circle of friends.

When I grow up, I want to be the kind, loving lady whose very smile brightens the room. She smiles through life, the good and the bad. She offers her kind heart and listening ear. You know she's known pain and tears, but her great faith shows Jesus in her very demeanor.

When I grow up, I want to be the sweet friend who never fails to stop and pray for you and your family in any and every situation. The wonderful person who knows and cares about everybody in the neighborhood. She has a deep faith that truly glows on her skin. She's made mistakes and gladly shares her regrets to help build up anyone in need. She loves, unconditionally.

When I grow up, I want to be the woman who follows her husband to the ends of the Earth out of love and duty to him. The woman who prays for her husband, is his quiet strength. The woman whose passion is her husband's passion, who shares a dream with him and realizes in helping his dream come true, she is fulfilling hers.

When I grow up, I want to be the woman whose brings honor to her husband. I want to be the woman who adds to the respect her husband earns by her words and actions.

I could go on for hours, I'm sure. What it boils down to is this: When I grow up I want to be the Proverbs 31 Woman

¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

We woman all want to know, does such a woman exist? I say yes. The Proverbs 31 Woman isn't one woman, she is the united efforts of many women, coming together in Christ to strengthen each other. She is us, together carrying the burden and urging each other toward the goal.

View From My Window

2011-04-07T17:33:00.004-04:00

When I look out my window and into my front yard, what do I see? Honestly, it depends on the day. When I am bogged down in the mundanities of life, stressed by all there is to do, I see an overwhelming mess. I see a porch that needs cleaned desperately. I see toys scattered throughout the property. I see bits of projects, started but not quite finished, laying haphazardly around. I see trash that the dog scattered, grass that usually needs cut and vehicles that need a bath.

You see, all too often I look out my window with tired, overwhelmed, grown-up eyes. Every once in a while, however, God blesses me with the insight and ability to see reality.

Reality is, out my window is a magical world. It is world in which 5 children run, shout, build, dream, imagine and play. It is a world in which apple trees are the greatest climbing devices ever made. It is a world in which a grove of small trees becomes an Indian Village, 5 gallon buckets become makeshift porta-potties (don't ask), and spindly little shrubs and trees will someday drip with as much fruit as 6 kids can possibly eat.

And the all too stark reality is that this reality shall fade in the blink of an eye. Too soon this reality shall transition to a new reality, one in which these small children are chasing small children of their own. God is showing me how to slow down time while being excited about the future. I'm learning to love each moment of this time, these child raising years, before they disappear. Sure, I still get frustrated daily, but now I hear the voice whispering at me that there will come a time when I will wish for these moments and I try to avoid wishing them away.

On Guarding Your Heart

2011-04-01T13:09:00.005-04:00

I grew up on country music. There is a certain quality to country music that has always spoken directly to my heart. As with anything, there is good and bad to listening to country music. It certainly didn't have the type of "profanity" and amoral content you might hear in some other styles (though I grant there is some). Yet I found, years later, one important way that it affected my heart, a way in which I was not expecting, nor was I ready for. Young girls especially, take heed, it isn't just music. You can be setting yourself up for problems without ever knowing it.

Here is my story. I am married to an amazing man. Now, after 15 years (nearly) of marriage and nearly 20 years together, I am loved and adored beyond my dreams. But this has not always been so. When my husband and I first married, we were happy. Of course, we didn't know any better, but we were happy. We bickered and argued, but who doesn't? We were in love. Of course, I knew what love was, I listened to all the great songs on love, country music. Country singers are the experts on love, or so it seems. I heard all the songs singing about how he couldn't live without her, she was the most beautiful creature in the world, he would walk to the ends of the Earth for her. And there begins my problem.

After 3 or 4 years of marriage, I didn't feel like I was being loved like this. Don't misunderstand. I married a faithful, kind, honest man who would never mistreat me or behave in any way that was less than ethical. Yet I was certain he was not as deeply in love with me as all these songs implied he should be. I wanted him to be gaga for me, but I didn't realize I had a part to play in this. I needed to behave in a lovable way.

I am not saying I was the worst wife in the world and he was miserable. Far from it. I was a mediocre wife, he was a mediocre husband, we had a mediocre kind of marriage (from my viewpoint). Once I became convicted that the only way I could make any changes in my marriage was to change my behavior, I saw real improvement quickly.

I began to try to treat my husband like he was the king (ok, that was my goal, I may have fallen short some). I wanted him to feel special and adored, the way I wanted to feel but didn't. I don't know how long it took, but 10 years later if feels like it was overnight that he began to reciprocate and began to see me differently.

Here I am, a decade later, more in love than the day we married. I truly know what it is like to be adored like the women in the country songs that I rarely listen to anymore. But I regret the years that I spent longing for what my heart misunderstood due to the influence of the music I listened to. I let my heart be affected to the point where, had God not intervened, my marriage would have been eaten away until we were no longer two mediocre spouses in a mediocre marriage, but two selfish people unable to make even a mediocre marriage work.

I am grateful God stepped in, showed me how to make my marriage what I longed for. I am grateful that God stepped in before I did lasting damage to my marriage and to the amazing man He gave me. Now as I am endeavoring to raise godly children, I think more about the influences in their lives, not just bad language or bad messages, but the heart of the matter.

I encourage all you young girls, or even married women who have issues in their marriages that are making them unhappy, search your heart for expectations that may not be from God. Ask Him to teach you to make your spouse (current or future) happy, not to show your spouse how to make you happy. Don't let "romantic" notions in your heart set you up for unrealistic expectations. Instead, let God's design for marriage, a relationship filled with servanthood and love, lead you to the best God has for you.

When I Grow Up

2011-02-25T23:28:00.007-05:00

If you ask my kids what they want to be when they grow up, you will get an assortment of answers. One has wanted to be a missionary or perhaps a teacher, maybe a pastry chef. One is convinced he is going to start his own landscaping business. One wants to work in a robot factory (owned by his friend) and design trucks and eventually start his own business making robots and trucks. We have an aspiring ballerina (today at least). And one wants to be a monkey.

As a kid, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, aside from a very short stint as an aspiring country singer or police officer, I spent my entire childhood, adolescence and young adult years planning to be a teacher when I grew up. Now here I am, wondering not what I'll be when I grow up, but rather when I will be a grown up.

I remember when I was young there was a show on television called "ThirtySomething". I never watched it, my dad and I both thought it sounded rather ridiculous. I couldn't fathom what the point could possibly be. So? A bunch of people who are "thirty something", what's the point. I'm still not sure what the show was about, but now I think I'm understanding the term at least.

As a child, I planned my life until 25. After that, well, I didn't think about after that. Now I'm after that. My life is nothing like it was at 25, and for that I am thankful. Yet, I still am not sure about this elusive "grown up" that I remember thinking so much about, planning so long for. I don't feel like a grown up. Sure, I'm a mom with 6 kids. I own a house or two. I've had a real job. My husband goes to work and comes home every day. Yet, I am not sure I'm quite ready to be considered a grown up.

My husband began considering a possible job change. My first thought was, "Uh, that's a grown up job. We aren't ready for that!" Now, mind you, my husband has a nice job now doing IT work; I'm not disparaging my husband or his work, but we both realize that the possible change would be grown up stuff.

Recently, we met with a gentleman to drill us a new well. This man is my age. What business does he have drilling wells? That's grown up stuff!

Then, out of the blue, my dad calls and asks me to do his taxes. Does that make me a grown up?

All of this really begs the question "Is there really such a thing as this elusive term 'grown up'?"

So, dear reader, tell me what does "grown up" mean to you and what do you want to do/be when you grow up?

My Box

2011-02-15T23:48:00.004-05:00

I really do have it all. I have an amazing heavenly Father who loves me enough to never give up on me and continue to grow me to what He has designed be to be.

I have an amazing, wonderful husband who truly loves me more than I deserve, more than I have a right to expect.

I have 5 (plus 1) great kids who keep me on my toes, teach me daily about life and love, love me despite my flaws, think I'm amazing and in general give me more joy than I knew was possible.

I have great friends who understand my many, many quirks and flaws and despite that seem to think I'm okay anyway. I have friends that I know would drop anything for me, friends who stand in the cold working on water issues, mow my yard, encourage me in all that I do.

I have a wonderful family, parents who love me, siblings that still think I'm okay even though I'm insane enough to have this many children, and nieces and nephews who still somehow remember the fun aunt of their youth and think I'm ok, not cool of course, but ok.

What more could I want? I don't know. The truth is in spite of all this, I feel - well I don't know the right word for it. I feel as though I'm standing in a glass box watching the world go by. I have wonderful plans and ideas as to how to improve the world (even my little piece of it), but I'm stuck in this little box that doesn't let me do any of it. Intellectually I know all these things to do, but I cannot open the door to let out the knowledge, skills and even heart stuck inside.

The world, time, it's moving too fast and I'm so busy trying to get out of this box and do something, that I'm not doing anything. Days go by, weeks go by, months go by, years go by and nothing changes. I can't free myself from this box to do that which I know to do.

I know God has put some great stuff in me to use for His kingdom, I just feel like it's stuck inside me, stuck in this box watching the world go by.

Random Thoughts

2011-02-15T06:01:00.003-05:00

Did you read the subtitle of this blog? Right there under "Moozann's Mind". I'll wait, scroll up and check it out. Ok. Ready? I warned you.

On my previous post about Loopholes (Archive 2009): I checked on my boys yesterday only to find them playing in my Brother-In-Laws truck (why it's here while he is in Missouri is a whole other story). I called them in and explained this was not allowed. I was countered with "It wasn't on the list of things you said we couldn't do", you know - stay out of the mud, don't play in the lake forming in our front yard, stay out of the barn... I explained that I cannot tell them everything they aren't supposed to do, I can't think that far ahead and encouraged them to use some thought. Are you allowed to play in the van? No. Were you allowed to play in the Suburban? No. Then why would you expect to be allowed to play in the truck? One asked me if I could give them a list of things they couldn't do.....

On my previous post "Three year old say WWHHHAAATTT!" (Archive 2010): My three year old still needs help wiping when she potties, which is annoying to me, but I'm trying to deal with it. She's so cute which makes it easier. She likes (especially at Grandma's house) to run into the bathroom and hide waiting for me. Sometimes she hides behind the door or behind the towel hanging on the towel rack. Several times however, she has been sitting on the toilet with her eyes squeezed tight. "I was hiding behind my face!"

And one last rant, if you will indulge: I wonder why it's okay for someone with one kid who is frustrating them while trying to get ready or accomplish a task, to have another kid, even though the one is frustrating them at that moment. Yet, if you have 5 and decide to have another you aren't ever allowed to ever be frustrated with any of your other kids because "you are the one who decided to have another one." To all of you with the "normal" number of kids (1-3) don't you sometimes get frustrated with your children? Am I supposed to be super human because I have number six due in March? It's not as if I can't stand to be with my children, or manage them, or take them out in public or am embarrassed by them, or pawn them off on everyone else to raise. But I am sorry people, I get frustrated occasionally. But the truth is, I got frustrated just as much (probably more) when there were only 2!

Be Careful What You Wish For

2011-02-08T20:38:00.002-05:00

A few months ago, I found myself overwhelmed and tired. Tired of having too much to do, tired of getting nowhere in all I needed to do, tired of being busy. I needed a break from my everyday life, but I couldn't really take a break. Five kids, homeschooling, babysitting, perpetually messy house, church commitments, hosting a bible study, pregnant, life was busy. Good busy. Full of the things I wanted to do kind of busy, but very busy.

What do I give up? There is really nothing I wanted to give up, but I couldn't figure out where to go. So my gracious and amazing God took matters into His own hands, as He is so capable of doing. He yanked me out of my busy life. Forced me to have some time to rest, sent me on a little vacation, made me realize what is truly important in life, what is good but removable from my life, and what needed to go. God is good, and patient, and kind.

Shortly after Christmas we began to have problems with our well. You can read full details in the entry below if you are so inclined. These issues have caused me to be displaced from my home to my in-laws for a good amount of time. My in-laws have all the luxuries: mostly regular heat in the house no hot spots/cold spots, jacuzzi tub, satellite, high speed internet, another adult to help cook, another adult to help clean, someone to go to the grocery store. It was a rough life. I enjoy my time there, but it is hard not being at home. Just as I was trying to work out a plan, a routine of sorts that would allow us to be up there some to do laundry/bathe and be here to clean, babysit and do school, my family was hit with a stomach virus.

My littlest got sick with this virus first. We stayed home from church. Then I got it. I canceled my babysitting kids. I spent an entire day asleep in bed or on the couch. I began recovering only to discover that my baby was puking again. Canceled babysitting for the rest of the week and returned to my in-laws.

Life began to return to normal, minus water for shower/laundry. Just as I thought we were all ready to resume life as planned, child number 2 comes down with the bug. Again I canceled some of my babysitting and church. Meanwhile my house kept getting worse and worse and I was only able to be home long enough to unload whatever was in my van and throw more stuff in my van. I began getting more and more frustrated.

Meanwhile, my brother-in-law graduated from Army Basic Training in Georgia. We took a road trip to Georgia with 5 kids and a grandpa for most of a week. We ate in restaurants, relaxed in a hotel room, and in general had nothing we had to do. We even got to see an old friend of my husband's from high school.

Oh, did I mention that my husband's grandfather died the day we were planning to leave for Georgia. That was a whole other layer of complication as we tried to figure out details for the funereal and for going to Georgia. We returned from Georgia to my in-laws house late Friday night, spent Saturday unloading and doing laundry, managed to go to church on Sunday and finally the funereal on Monday.

We finally got home late Monday night to find that some dear friend(s) came and cleaned house for us! What a blessing! Now we are back from our trip, chilling at home, babysitting, finally made it to church.

Life is still crazy. I still have to go to my in-laws for a shower and laundry. But I've seen reality. Reality is that all that matters is my family, being together. Reality is that other people have problems. Reality is that I have too much stuff, most of which can go away and will never be missed. Reality is that most of what I do, while good and helpful, is not so important that God cannot accomplish it without me.

Now I am in the process of reprioritizing. I'm massively decluttering my house. I'm trying to rebuild routines that will help me organize. I am planning for the birth of our newest baby. I am going to try to let God do His job, and only do what He has asked me to do. I am sure I'll get over committed and overwhelmed again, and I am sure God will "gently" remind me of what's important. But for now, I am looking up and looking ahead, pleased with where I am in the midst of still have so little certainty with my water, having absolute certainty with my God.

Life, Plans and the Power that Is

2011-01-26T23:28:00.007-05:00

This is quite long, sorry, but at the end I am posting an update to this previously published post.

It's a funny thing about life, it gets in the way of your plans. I am constantly amazed at how things can turn on a dime and suddenly, nothing is how you planned it. I began a rather ambitious, for me, undertaking of encouraging myself and others to live the 1 Corinthians 13 model of love. I still intend to pursue that, but I felt the need to fill you all in on why it has been, shall we say - delayed a bit.

First, I intended to post about my attempt day one to live "Love is patient" in my relationship with my children. Well, I failed miserably. But, taking my own advice, I decided not to consider it failure but rather an opportunity to try again. Before being able to follow through with the update and the encouragement to follow the next step, things got a little complicated in my world.

First for a little background. I have been married for nearly 15 years to the man of my dreams. Honestly, he is everything I would ever desire, not what I am sure I would have asked for 15 years ago, but better than I could have dreamed. Enough gushing about my amazing husband (it's just hard sometimes to stop myself). We spent our first married year living in married student housing at Ball State University. Ah, the days. Free cable, lawn maintainance, someone to fix all our broken stuff. After I graduated we moved into a home owned by my dad. The rent was right, free for the first year as we got our feet under us. That's where it all began.

I loved a lot of things about that little 900 square foot house, the neighbors, the neighborhood, the library, the closeness to my job, the school district, etc. That year we experienced our first water problem, frozen pipes. Ah, yes. Did I mention since we lived rent free we felt it necessary to take on all maintainance. Yeah, pipes froze year one. At the time there was a house trailer in the backyard that my grandmother and uncle lived in. The water was all connected under the trailer, so that is where the pipes froze. Copper pipes. My amazing hubby learned a lot about copper pipes, especially that he wasn't so good at "sweating" them. After a hypothermic hubby and much stress, we called a plumber.

The next winter, we were sure we had it fixed. More frozen pipes. Eventually, we solved the problem entirely. We tore down the house trailer. Ha! Take that. Well, that didn't end the problem, it moved it. Now the pipes in the house (or rather under) began to freeze. Year after year. Yes, we left water running. Yes, we used pipe insulation. Yes, yes, yes. We did it all. Something new froze and/or burst every winter. For the 10 years we lived there, something froze every winter, never the same thing. My husband is practically fanatical about insulating pipes now.

Then God blessed us with an amazing new house. 2300 square feet, 5+ acres, room for the newest baby (totally 5). And this house had a well. My hubby was excited not to pay for water! Life is good! Until the day we arrived to begin cleaning and the well went dry. Yup. Dry. Sure, it was a super dry summer but still, the owner assured us there had never been a problem. We later discovered he was, well, misleading us a bit. Anyway, we decided to move forward with the move-in while my husband and any number of wonderful friends worked diligently to get us water. We hauled water from town every other day while we worked at the water problem.

Replaced the pump on advice from the "expert", turns out original pump was fine. Replaced the pipe. Replaced the wire (130 feet of well pump wire is not cheap). Finally, after chatting with the only well expert we could find, my husband got the water running, though at a much decreased rate.

Wooo Hooo! Water, dream home, life is great! Oh, except the previous homeowner went to great lentghs to hide one small problem. Our water is orange. Not "well water orange". It is so orange the man that came to test it for rust was impressed. Nearly the worst he's seen. Nice. We had purchased as a housewarming present for ourselves a new set of front loader washer and dryer. Not cheap. (My washing machine went out a couple of weeks before delivering my 5th child so I had been washerless for a few months at this point). I refused to put my new, very expensive washing machine in this house with this nasty water. So we waited until we could afford the water softener and rust filter needed for our water.

And waited. And waited. We drove to the in-laws every weekend to do laundry (an hour one way). We stayed Friday evening through Sunday morning every weekend. My life was consumed by being gone all weekend to catch up on laundry for a family of 7. Going to a laundrymat was out of the question at over $40 a week to do only essentials.

At the 2 1/2 years with no washing machine point, my in-laws blessed us with the rust filter and water softener that we needed. Bless them. They got their home back and we got to live at home! Life was good.

Then, somehow, after all this time, guess what? We froze and burst water pipes again. Once again, we spent weeks at the in-laws while repairing the water.

Okay, we are set. Well works, water is clean, washing machine hooked up, pipes insulated, life is good.

This summer, we had a drought again. Yet our yard had standing water. Eventually we realized this didn't make sense so hubby looks in our crawl space and low and behold, we had 3 1/2 feet of standing water. Hundreds of gallons of water. A massive leak and we couldn't even tell. It was days of sump pump running, water turned off to the house to empty the crawl space. When we needed water, we turned it on and used it, but the crawl quickly filled. Once again hubby to the rescue. He fixed even more pipes. He's learned quite a bit that he never wanted to know!

Now life is good. Working well, clean water, washing machine, insulated pipes, new pipes under house. Life is good.

Then....

Well, I'll just say we suddenly couldn't run the shower nor flush the toilet more than once every 20 minutes. Oh, and the rust filter is now worn out, so my water is orange again, but that's another story.

Hubby tries all the variables and decides, much to his disappointment that he must pull the pump. Again. By hand. Yup, dead of winter, snow, all of it. The pump got stuck and he pulled the pipe right off the pump. A good friend came and helped him run a camera down and find the problem. They managed to shove the old pump down the well, and drop the extra pump we had (remember, we replaced a perfectly working one previously) on top of the old pump. More new pipe. Everything hooked up and we have water. Yay! Problem, it still won't sustain a shower. Or laundry.

We are currently going between our house and in-laws house trying to allow my hubby to work (at his job), research his next step and have some sanity. God bless those in-laws. Oh, then, my baby got sick. Puky sick. Not suffient water to flush more than every 20 minutes, sick 3 year old and then sick mommy.

So, my brain has been unable, until now, to even thing about blogging and about my relationship challenge. We finally started school back this week after post-poning for a couple extra weeks.

Seems like a long story. Truth is, I've actually left some of it out. Parts like my husband and a friend bailing water in the rain while trying to find a leak underground just our side of the water main at our old house.

What have I learned. Life is good. No matter what the water situation. Life is good!

UPDATE:

Since this post was published in January we have added a few more issues to the mix. This momma had her 6th baby in March. We brought him "home" to my in-laws. We stayed up there almost all the time until my "maternity leave from life" ended. We had the only well expert in town come out. He suggested either a cleanout or a new well. We opted to try for a new well. He needed a few dry warmish days to drill. Well, nearly the wettest spring in history. Of course. So we didn't get the well drilled until after the baby was born. And it was dry. 155ft. Hit bedrock. Found oil (only like 3 drops). No water. So we tried a well clean out. It turns out, he needed dry weather for that, too. Did I mention historic rains? July came and we finally managed a well clean out. Guess what? He got both stuck pumps out of the well! And very, very little water.

So, we haul water in a borrowed 400 gallon tank, fill our 1000 gallon tank and await the time, money and emotional energy to move on to the next step, a real cistern. We hope to use the well to feed the cistern. This is a plan we've researched. Seems a reasonable one.

Meanwhile, winter approaches and we have a non-buried tank, a tank heater and plans of insulation and prayer to attempt a miraculous winter of no frozen water, under ideal freezing conditions. Feel free to join us in that prayer!

On Love and Relationships

2011-01-10T17:32:00.009-05:00

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." - 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

God gave me a plan for encouraging myself and others to use the 1 Corinthians 13 model of love to strengthen one particular relationship (or in my case 5 - my relationship with my kids). I was amused by the idea as it struck me during my drive to church. I was thinking "how might I" as I sat and listened to my pastor's inspiring message. That is when I knew it was God's idea. When I realized the pastor was preaching very much on what I was planning, I knew God was behind this. God wants you to read this, and God wants me to write this. I believe God wants all of us to do this.

I've developed my own version of the "Love Dare". It really isn't intended to be taken from that movie, but the term fit so well that I decided to borrow it. I want to encourage, even dare you to walk with me over the next days and weeks. Try each of the things with an open mind and an open heart. Listen to what God is whispering to you. See if these things help, if even in some small way. I can't imagine any way in which they can hurt.

First, I want you to identify a person (persons) with whom you feel your relationship needs strengthened. I've chosen my children. It is important to identify a specific relationship to work on. In the end, I believe all your relationships will benefit, but you must focus on one. I decided to consider my children one relationship since what I am really doing is working on how I relate to them more than their individual personalities.

Let's look at what the bible says about love. It is one of the most famous passages in the bible. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Boy, that's a lot. It is too much to try at once. We are going to take this one item at a time. Today: Love is patient. There is an old saying in the christian world "Never pray for patience." What we are going to pray for today is that God will, in his infinite grace, show us what patience is, what it looks like in this particular relationship. For example, my prayer for today is "God, please grant me the grace to see and understand how I am to be patient with my children today." It may be your spouse, your coworker, your sister or your best friend. Ask God to show you today how you can demonstrate patience in that relationship. If you mess up once, don't feel like you blew it. Take the next opportunity to do it right. Keep praying.

A note, if you know your spouse has read this and is working on their relationship toward you, pray for God's guidance on how to receive. Even if you feel things are perfect, it is possible your spouse feels that he or she is not fully demonstrating the love God calls him/her to show.

A Christmas Lesson - Learning God's Generosity in a Lean Season

2010-12-29T17:39:00.008-05:00

My husband is an amazing and generous man. He's generous with his time, his advice, his heart and with his money. Money never really meant much to him. Understand, he likes nice things. He has NICE taste in things. He never likes to buy less than the best (usually most expensive). But he isn't greedy. He doesn't need to keep up with the Joneses. He likes nice things, he's willing to pay more for them, but he doesn't really "value" money as some do. I say this meaning he doesn't really think about money. He doesn't worry (too much) about money. And he is generous with what money he has.

I am not generous. I think about money, a lot. I worry about money. I fret about money. I think of ways to earn more money. I try to spend less money. I am, above all, cheap. Not thrifty. Thrifty is for those who like to get all the value from a dollar. I am cheap, I care less about value and more about how far I can make a dollar stretch. I would love to give to people, but I always think I can't.

Years ago, while I was still working full time, my husband and I took a class called Crown Financial Ministries. It challenged us to tithe. Yup, the full 10%. Ouch. We both worked then and made reasonable money (I taught public school, so not an extravagant salary, but not bad for a couple 25 year-olds). We were always broke, but my hubby said we should go for it. I wanted to ease into it, slowly. Increase by about $10 every couple weeks to make sure we could afford it. He said we needed to trust God and give it a shot.

God is good, and we never felt any more struggle financially when we started tithing. It was a large extra expense, but it was not felt. I would love to say we struggled even less, but that isn't true. However, we struggled no more after increasing our giving ten fold. We were amazed.

Fast forward a few years. I had quit my job, dropping our income by more than half, to be a stay at home mom. I then began having even more babies, numbers 1 & 2 were already born while I was employed, we are now awaiting the joyful arrival of number 6. We had far less income, still we always managed. Times got hard and we missed a few tithes and I felt extremely guilty, yet God always showed His love and kindness. Each year during tax review I would discover that we were still on target with 10% even though we missed a few "payments" (this is because I round to the nearest $5, sometime $10 to make my life easier). I have now been unemployed for 7 years. Our income is back to where it was when I quit.

Sorry for all the prattling on, but you need to understand, this has been years of growing, all "culminating" if you will at this Christmas season.

As I said, my husband is generous. When the bell ringers are out, he gives each of the kids a buck or whatever change is in his pocket do drop in, I stress over the extra $2 in change I give them to donate. When a friend's family was struggling he hid $100 bill for them to find, I worried we needed that money. When someone needs, he doesn't think much about it. He does. He's not irresponsible, he's just giving. I'm not. Or I wasn't. This year God changed me, in a huge way.

For months leading up to Christmas I began to realize I couldn't always think the way I had about money. I would not buy tennis shoes when I really needed them not because we didn't have the money, because I was afraid we wouldn't have the money. That may not make sense to you, but that's how I thought. I always worried there wouldn't be enough. As this year wore on, I began to realize I needed to let go of the stress and buy things when they were needed and trust God for the outcome.

Going into Christmas has always been a stress for me, I worry about all the others we have to buy for, the parents, grandparents, etc. It adds up quickly at $20 here, $20 there. This Christmas was worse. I realized in October that the Christmas bonus we always counted on for gift buying wasn't going to happen due to company changes. I panicked. I worried. I bought a few things ahead to relieve the December burden. But I worried. Then God blessed me.

God gave me a change to go shopping for a needy family. Our church had groups shop for different families and my group got a family that I knew. They were going through some really tough times, not just financially. Our group spent around 9 hours trying to stretch every penny to bless this family with the somewhat small resources we had. I found myself volunteering to buy coloring books for the family. This was one thing they had all asked for that I didn't want to waste our precious allotted money for. I found myself saying I'd buy them, figuring it would be good for my kids to shop for other and the extra $20 would hardly be noticeable. (This is not typical thinking on my part, remember). I briefly wondered if my hubby would care, then knew immediately he wouldn't. This is how he thinks all the time.

I came home late that night exhausted and feeling so good that we were able to find almost everything asked for and get some donations for other items that would allow us to spend our allotted dollars on more "fun" stuff. We found coats and snow boots to be donated, freeing the money further.

When I returned home, I received a message from a sweet friend at our church that someone had recommended our family for this same program. What?!? We didn't have much this year, true. But with grandparents and aunts and uncles, my kids would be super blessed. They would not do without. We had enough to buy them some stuff and the rest of the family would spoil them. How could I accept this? Others, like the family I had just shopped ALL day for, needed it so much more. I was nearly in tears. I didn't know what to say. I just couldn't accept this. It wasn't pride, but a huge sense of being overwhelmingly blessed that made me want to say no.

I talked with this friend who recommended that think about it, but suggested that sometimes God wants us to learn to receive. She said we are often giving of our time and our resources and should consider receiving. I prayed about it, wondering if God had a lesson for me. I really didn't want to do it.

The next day, while I was pondering the dilemma, I was excited to find a coat for the mom of the family we were buying for. It was used, but nice and I knew that it might be gone before the person in charge could get there to buy it with the church's money, so I bought it. I didn't even worry about it. This is so not me.

After buying the coat, I could tell God was working on me. He wanted me to agree to this opportunity to allow the church to bless my family. I still didn't want to do it. I didn't think was pride causing me to want to refuse, but figured that God was working on me somehow. I reluctantly agreed.

As my husband and I went shopping for the kids, I found myself less burdened than usual for getting them just the right stuff. We had a little extra cash come in that we set aside for that purpose so I had the needed money. I found myself thinking very little about cost. I usually worry, "$19.95 is a lot to spend for this". I didn't do that. I encouraged my husband to buy things I would usually feel knots in my stomach over. Odd.

As the weeks progressed, I felt no stress over buying gifts for the parents and siblings. I didn't worry over how much it was going to cost to buy such and such a gift card, etc. I even encouraged my husband to buy the more expensive items when necessary,THIS IS NOT ME!

When time came to shop for my husband, a horrible chore (sorry honey) because he is very particular (remember, he likes nice things), I didn't worry. I decided to buy him some odd and end things, not to worry over getting just the right this or just the right that and I didn't worry about money. Again, God blessed me with a little extra unexpected income that I set aside for the dear hubby's present. I can't say that I bought him the coolest gifts this year, what I can say is, I tended toward the more expensive rather than less and even impulse bought something I knew he'd never splurge for.

I began this Christmas season with dread, but found that shopping was more joyful that it had ever been. I finally got into the sense of buying something to show them I care and try to pay attention to their interests, instead of buying just the right thing. This Christmas taught me the JOY of giving over the DREAD of giving. We still spent less this year than in previous years, tried to be aware of not overdoing it on the kids, but the burden was gone.

I suppose many of you that know me will read this and be surprised by what I say about myself. I wouldn't really want to share these insights about myself normally. However, I felt this really needed to be shared to show how God can take a stressed heart like mine and turn it toward Him and those I love during this holiday season.

By the way, just days before Christmas, when all the shopping was quite nearly (miraculously) finished (and wrapped before Christmas Eve I must add), my hubby got a Christmas bonus. God is Good, all the time!

Goals

2010-11-17T11:00:00.004-05:00

Everyone is supposed to have them. Every preacher or self help specialist will tell you that with no clear goal in mind, you will reach it every time. I've heard messages at church, in books and on the radio all extolling the virtue of having goals. A plan. One must have a plan in order to achieve anything. I have struggled with this for years, unsure why but unable to adequately plan goals. I never understood why. Today, however, I have a more clear understanding of the problem. I still don't know exactly why, but I do understand a little better the block.

Goals do not work for me. At least, not short term goals. Goals and I are like oil and water. I am, well, untidy. I don't mean to be, I don't want to be. I just am. I can clean. I can clean like a machine. You would be amazed how fast I can turn my pig-sty into a livable environment, I just lack the ability to keep it that way. Goals, the cleanies tell me. You need to have a routine (don't get me started on that word) and goals. Set a plan for the day. Decide what you will do that day. Sounds like a great idea. Problem? It doesn't work for me. Oh, you just aren't committed enough, too distractable, people tell me. This is true. I'm horribly distractible. However, I contend it isn't my fault. Murphy must have a law governing my life as it pertains to goals and plans. If I set a housecleaning goal for a day, before breakfast it will be destroyed, due to things outside my control. This happens often to me.

If, however, I get up, start working on something and get lost in whatever project I take up for the day, I am likely to get at least something accomplished. It's a poor plan I agree, but so far it is the only one that seems to work for me. I can decide on a whim to clean my kitchen or my living room and it will look great. Or, I can get up with the plan of cleaning my kitchen and end up with a trip to the ER for a head wound or wrangling a 6 year-old out of a tree.

In short, I find goals to not be something one chooses and plans for. Rather I find goals to be something one must sneak up behind and catch when they are least expecting it. Well, I am off now to see what befalls me as I continue my day.

Three Year-Old say WHAAATTT?

2010-10-01T20:59:00.004-04:00

Okay, so perhaps I have watched too much Hannah Montana. I have young children, it could be worse. Anyway, back to the purpose of this post, my three year old and her ability to say just the right thing.

My family and I spent the weekend with the in-laws while my husband helped roof their shed. It was a beautiful weekend and the kids spent much time playing outside. They all had a great time, as they always do with the grandparents who feel it is their duty to spoil them insanely (yet manage to expect the behavior we expect. They are awesome grandparents!)

The kids took turns joining Daddy on the scaffolding that was about 7 feet off the ground. The boys actually got on the roof, the girls were content to help from the scaffolding. The three year old was sure she was big enough to climb the ladder and join Daddy. She was so proud of herself. She said "See, I am a big girl. I am Queen of the World! I am a brave Queen!"

This child makes me laugh endlessly. Later Saturday evening, we were beginning to clean up the backyard for the night. Emily was riding her tricycle through the big, open backyard. "Look, Mommy, I'm doing it. I'm riding my bike!" She was so proud.

As Uncle Josh headed to the garage with the air compressor in tow, Emily and Josh's paths intersected. Completely indignant that Josh should be in her way, she says loudly and clearly in her best big girl voice, "Excuse me! I'm riding my bike here!"

Grandpa, Mommy and Daddy all begin to laugh uncontrollably while Uncle Josh tries to stare her down. I believe she won the encounter.

What Will They Say Next?

2010-08-29T20:48:00.005-04:00

If you have children you understand how entertaining they can be. They have a way of saying things that can make the meanest, crankiest, most irritable mommy laugh. I believe I am qualified to make that statement based on the following two pieces of information: 1) I am said mean, cranky, irritable mommy and 2)I have a lot of children (5 1/3 at present).

I always want to document these things to remember them, but never seem to have anything handy for writing. My sweet hubby likes to remind me that I have this handy device that I carry everywhere that has a place for notes - my cell phone. Since then I am trying to remember to jot notes in my phone so that later I can share my laughs will all of you. So here were go:

My 6 year old was pestering his 4 year old sister. She hit him back. He says to her "you aren't supposed to return evil for evil" precisely as he was kicking her back. Pause, let you laugh. Funny huh. Then I explain to him that he can't lecture his sister on the bible if he wasn't going to try to follow it. His response? A huge grin! He knew all along!

Background for this story, I babysit for my friends' boys a few days a week. They have a nine year old who gets along great with either my 10 year old son or my nine year old daughter, but not both at the same time. He likes to irritate and aggravate that girl just to make her whine. She's good at whining. She could have a PhD and teach graduate classes on whining, she is so good. One can understand why both her brother and the other boy like to aggravate her (by the way, her daddy does it, too). Anyway, she comes storming in the other day with a major whine, foot stopping, the whole nine yards and says to me, "I don't see how boys ever get married! They are all stinkers!" The funniest part is I have told his momma that I can see them marrying when they are grown!

Finally, for now, a story about my sweet 3 year old. Man is she cute. She has a way of saying things that make you have to hide your face as to not get caught laughing. Last night our family went on an impromptu camping trip. We arrived at the campground and looked around. We went to look at the lake. On our way up from the lake, my sweet daughter says to me, "Last time we were here, there wasn't a lake."

Helping Your Kids Build Healthy Relationships

2010-05-26T06:20:00.008-04:00

It really annoys me when people ask my small children, even my four and five year-olds (oops, six year-old) if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Why do they do this? Really. I know older, grandparent types think it's a cute thing to ask them and tease them about growing up, etc.. The problem, which I doubt many grandparent types realize, is that in the world in which my children are maturing and growing, many children at seven, eight and nine years old have "girlfriends" or "boyfriends".

It seems like every year, kids at younger and younger ages begin to talk about the opposite sex as more than friends. What happened to the day of "cooties" and "boys are gross!"? I have become well known, not only with my children but with their friends as well, as the authority on the fact that they are too young for that boy/girl nonsense.

As my two older kids begin to approach that age, the age of hormones and finding some interest in the opposite sex, I have found that it is now important to explain better to my children why I feel that ten year-olds don't need to worry about boyfriends and girlfriends. I was inspired the other day, while driving with my children, with (in my opinion) a good explanation as to why girlfriends and boyfriends are not something God would want them dealing with right now. Here is my explanation to my kids. Maybe it will help some of you, maybe you have better thoughts you can share with us.

I discussed with my children God's view of marriage, that it is forever. We talked about friendships. I asked if they could have a friend now that would still be their friend in 5, 8, 10 or 20 years and they agreed that they could. We talked about how they could be friends with Sally now (names changed to protect the innocent) and in 5 years could meet Sandy and become friends with her. Does that mean that Sally is no longer a friend, of course not. In another 15 years they could meet Sami and become friends. We discussed that, although perhaps things would happen causing Sally to move away or change interests and they may over time lose touch and not be friends, they still COULD be friends even if new friends came along.

Then we discussed boyfriends. If you have a boyfriend named Bob now, is it likely that in 15 years you are really going to marry Bob? No, so in order for you to get a new boyfriend, the relationship with Bob has to end. So, I explained, if you have boyfriends or girlfriends now, you are entering into a relationship planning for it to end. God doesn't want us starting relationships planning to end them. We discussed that some day they would find their future spouse and if they'd had 10 "boyfriends" in elementary school and junior high, then that is 10 relationships that they started, knowing for sure they were going to end. I told them that it was like practising for divorce.

I don't yet know what we will do when they are 16 and 17. I don't feel pressed to make that decision now, but I want my kids to understand that this "harmless" flirtation with relationships isn't harmless. It starts them down a path of looking at relationships as disposable, not lifelong. I want my kids to know that, although things change and friends move on, you should never begin a relationship with the end in mind.

What won't a Mommy do for her kids!

2010-05-20T13:05:00.003-04:00

Actually, parents in general. We will do about anything to make our kids happy. I don't mean the kind of making our kids happy that means we forget about our rules, principles and priorities. But those moments when it is in our power to do some thing that brings joy our children, we will do it. Even if it adds stress, chaos and pushes our limits.

I love my children, but I am not an artist. Not at all. Normally daddy is left to decorate all the cakes. This year, however, birthdays have come and Mommy has had to make the cake. Well, they aren't great, but I have to say, I am pleased. First I managed a castle and a spider web. Today I made an Earth cake. Next up, a robot and a dog. Then, cakes will be done for the year!

I will add pics of the robot and dog when they are ready. Hopefully, they will look as good as the Earth!

Too Much to Do!

2010-05-11T06:39:00.003-04:00

I know all moms feel the same way. I have too much to do. How is it possible that each passing day brings more to do, not less. I am sure many other people, those not actively raising small children, feel the same way. I can't remember the last time I sat on a porch swing and thought, "I have nothing to do today."

I remember those days as a kid when I would sit on the front porch, nothing to do. I would read until I just didn't think I could read any more. I was a book a day kind of reader back then. I could pick up a chapter book, as we called them, and finish it before supper, often picking up another to finish in the wee hours of the night.

Now, I feel lucky to finish one novel in six months. Actually, I feel guilty. I can still read a whole book in a day, but then nothing else gets done. I actually feel a little guilty right now for updating my blog instead of cleaning my house. And my "book"? Ha! Right!

How have I gone from a carefree child with no real responsibilities, to an overwhelmed adult in need of 3 full time staff just to get my affairs in order? Did I sleep through the change?

I don't know how other people do it. You know who I mean, the ones with perfectly clean houses, perfectly clean kids, 2 jobs per family, 15 missions they work on, boy scouts and girl scouts, 4-H and dance, studying part time for their degrees in astrophysics. You know who I mean. Do we all have the same 24 hours in our day?

Enough ramblings for me today, house full of the most amazing people you'll ever meet coming over tonight hoping for decent food and a place to sit, right now, I couldn't offer either!

Experiment Day, Who am I kidding?

2010-05-05T00:11:00.004-04:00

So, the experiment was a good one. The record keeping was a remarkable failure. I didn't manage to actually conduct the experiment daily as was the original hope, but it did prove to me an invaluable tool in my school planning.

I learned two remarkable, in the sense that they are completely unremarkable and make complete sense except that I got so caught up in life I forgot these two truths, pieces of information.

First I learned, or was reminded, that children love to read. Even kids who don't know how to read, love to read. Kids should be given daily time to just be with a book, without a grown up. Constant contact with the printed word is a fabulous tool for the instruction of or introduction to reading.

Second I was reminded that the brain thrives on math. Don't give me that "I hate math" junk. I don't care. Math makes the brain work. Even simple math problems that a child already knows helps keep the wheels turning and reduces brain rust. The simple act of daily doing math problems keeps their thinker thinking.

Remarkably unremarkable results. Yet I am much encouraged at the knowledge I possess, not perhaps newly learned, but sometimes, it's the old knowledge, so well hidden behind dusty cobwebs of stress, business, overwork, chaos and confusion that we must pull out, dust off and admire anew, as if just acquired for the first time.

The Writing on the Walls

2010-04-14T19:43:00.008-04:00

Have you ever had a child who liked to graffiti? My fourth child was, by far, my worst about writing on the walls. And doors. And dry erase board with Sharpie. Oh, and did I mention the wall at church? The problem that this darling, then 2 year-old, child had was that she always wrote her name. Well, not actually her name, I mean she was only two, but the letter "R" which stood for her name. When she wrote her "R" on the wall at church, it was hard to deny who did it. There really weren't any other young children able to write whose names started with an "R".

I used to joke that if she was going to write a name on a wall, she should write someone else's name. It would be harder to trace to her if it said someone else's name. Of course I never told her this, I wanted to be able to trace the graffiti to it's author. Eventually this bright little girl learned to spell her whole name and to stop "tagging" the walls in our house. And doors. And dry erase boards, you get the picture.

It has been months since we have had an offence. Or should I say it HAD been months. Today, that precious, delightful, adorable, beautiful child (I am trying to remember as many good things as possible to protect her very life at this point. Don't laugh, if you have children you know what I am talking about!) once again decided to try her hand at graffiti. Today however, she decided not to write on the walls. Or doors. Or dry erase board. Not even the walls at church. On what did she decide to graffiti?

My truck. Yep, my truck. With what did she decide to write on my truck? A rock. Yep. She took a rock and etched a name in it. However, she must have finally learned that "tagging" with your own name was a bad idea. She wrote her brother's name. Unfortunately for her, she didn't realize that she shouldn't eagerly exclaim "I did!" when Daddy asked "Who did this?!"

Perhaps this will be her last attempt at graffiti!

The pictures you are seeing show my reflection and the reflection of my fence in my blue truck. If you look you will see "HOA", part of Noah. She couldn't scratch his name into the dirt, so she decided to scratch it into the truck.

Experiment, Day 1 - The End of Day 1

2010-04-02T23:14:00.004-04:00

I know you have been waiting, anticipating the results of Day 1. If you have no idea about what I am babbling, read the post right under this one. You won't really know much more, but you will at least know a little more.

Okay, so after reminding my children of the prior hardships they have had to endure, and assuring the oldest that he did not actually die from the beans and rice, that he is still alive and kicking, I was able to make my point. I believe they saw both the rationality of trying the experiment and the futility of arguing with their crazy momma. All went quite well. Okay, you got me, most went quite well. I do have a four year-old in Kindergarten. She didn't actually do very well. She whined during math, whined during reading and even said "Why do you make us do boring stuff?" But then, she is actually only 4. I give her a little slack.

The three older children did quite well. I saw more diligence and patience at working than I have seen recently. Of course, the first day is usually the easiest. Tomorrow we try again (on a Saturday no less!)

Experiment

2010-04-02T08:31:00.003-04:00

I am beginning a new homeschool experiment today. That sounds kind of bad, doesn't it? Oh well, it is what it is, as my dear friend says. Like most homeschool moms that I know, I feel like I am blowing it most days. I was intrigued by an website I read explaining one dad's homeschool theory. While I do not agree completely with him, I was very, shall we say - piqued. How could I use this thought with my kids? Hmmm...

Without trying to explain his lengthy argument or his theory, and without boring you with my plan, I want to document my children's attitude about school and academic progress during the next 29 days (the rest of April) while we experiment. I will try to update as often as I have something to report. If it is boring, well, sorry. You don't have to read it!

Day 1 -
My children are still sleeping unsuspectingly in their own beds. Picture sinister background music as the mad scientist a.k.a. Homeschool Momma begins pulling out the materials needed and planning the peptalk. Eerie laughter as Momma anticipates their surprise and lack of enthusiasm, Ha Ha Ha! (Okay, actually listening to a little praise music and somehow a little Beethoven who managed to sneek his way into my playlist.)

I have it all planned out. I will explain to the darlings how they have survived TV Free August, not once but twice, how they survived rice and beans as part of the crazy pastors fast in October, and most recently how they have survived 40 days (actually 47 counting Sundays) with no pop. With this reminder firmly in their minds, thinking of how it could be worse and how each of these things got easier as the time progressed, and reminding them that Momma and Daddy didn't change their minds so resitance is futile, I will encourage them to look at the next 29 days (minus Sundays so only 25 really) as a great opportunity for growth! Now there is a run-on sentence to be proud of!

First child just awoke. Tune in later to see how it went!

Did your mom really just say that?

2010-03-31T16:23:00.007-04:00

I was chatting on the phone with my amazing husband today when I uttered words that made him break out into laughter. I found nothing strange nor very amusing in my statement. Had I been chatting with a mom friend, they would not have found it nearly so funny. They would have barely noticed the statement that I made to my child in the midst of my grown up phone conversation. All I said was "If someone did puke on that, it was long enough ago that it is clean now."

Yes, my husband seemed to find this verging on hysterical. My husband concluded that I was equating time with clean. Apparently in his mind I was saying that time alone would make the item in question clean. Ok, so I suppose that is funny.

What I really meant, and I am sure any mom could understand, was that since there was no visible puke on the toy in question and I could not actually recall any event of puking, it had obviously been cleaned since the alleged puking experience. Dads! They just can't read a mom's mind!

Chicken Slime

2010-03-10T11:31:00.006-05:00

Last night my husband and I crockpotted a chicken. I say my husband and I because, although he did all the work, it was my idea thereby making it a joint effort! I awoke this morning, too stinking early I might add, to the yummy aroma of cooked chicken. I pulled it out of the crockpot to cool. After adequate cooling time I attempted to put it into a zippered bag to put in the fridge until it is needed later.

I say attempted for a reason. I managed to maneuver most of the chicken to the bag via large spoon. I don't really enjoy touching the food I am cooking, it's a thing I have. Finally, I had to use my hands to manage to get the large breast picked up and in the bag.

Everyone knows you have to save the broth as well, right? Next task, get all the broth into the bag. No problem. Should I use a ladle or pour? Knowing that I would eventually have to pour it anyway, I decided to go for it. Maybe I should preface the rest of this by mentioning that I am The World's Messiest Cook. I don't actually yet have a certificate proving this title yet, but I am certain one is in the mail headed my way.

I prop the gallon size zippered bag up and begin to pour. At this point I am feeling pretty proud of myself, the broth is going into the bag and not all over the counter. At about this exact moment, the bag tips and starts pouring chicken broth all over the counter, into the slightly ajar drawer of kids' cups and onto the floor.

I now am surrounded by The Great Sea of Chicken Slime me. All of my children are outside enjoying the fresh air, and I can't go anywhere for fear of spreading chicken slime all over the house.

Chicken broth is yummy to use in soups and dishes. It is a nightmare to remove from floors and counters.

The First and the Last

2010-03-05T09:05:00.004-05:00

I sit here with an amazing life. I have five fabulous children. They are simply amazing. I wonder at God's reasoning for lending them to me and allowing me the honor of raising them. Why? I'm so totally unworthy. But I try. I try to do that which I feel is God's heart for my children. I pray for God to help me see them as He sees them. I watch them grow and my heart aches for their babyhood while rejoicing in their new adventures.

Recently, in a conversation with a sweet friend who is further along this parenting journey than I, I was reminded of a bitter-sweet moment. I remembered holding my youngest baby and nursing her for what I new would be the last time. I desperately wanted to hold on to that moment, yet knew that I couldn't. There always has to be a last, I was fortunate enough this time to know it. Often we don't.

This friend reminded me that we try so hard to remember the firsts in our child's life: Their first moments in this world, their first word, first step, first day of school, first dance, first date. It is rare that we are aware of their last anything. Do we remember the last time they said "get-for" instead of "forget" or the last time they drank out of sippy cup. Do we even remember the last jar of baby food? We get so busy looking ahead and focused on the next thing coming, that we sometimes forget to notice that the new ushers out the old.

I urge you parents, try to take time and slow down and cherish those little things, for you never know when it will the last time your baby says "I wub oo" instead of "I love you."

No Naps!

2010-03-03T12:49:00.004-05:00

So, here we are. Tomorrow we finally go in and have tubes put in Rachel's ears. Before Thanksgiving we noticed this poor child just couldn't hear us. Took her in and discovered she had an ear infection. No surprise except that come early February, it was still there. Our wonderful
pediatrician agreed to refer to the ENT.

The initial ENT appointment was scheduled for March 4th. This poor child's ears had gotten bad enough to have blisters in them. The pediatrician said her eardrum could rupture any time. I was not thrilled with waiting 6 weeks to see the ENT. After the original referral, we were back in the ped's office with her ears hurting.

I am usually a go with the flow, that is the best they can do, follow the rules kind of girl. I decided to try harder. One call to the ENT's Physician's Assistant and I had an appointment for the next day! Needless to say, tubes are in order and a possible adenoidectomy. So tomorrow we go in.

I have been talking to her about it, telling her how great it will be when she can hear again and her ears don't bother her. All was well until last night. Last night big sis decided to pray about Rachel's surgery. Rachel started getting a little nervous. I sat her on my lap and told her the doctor would give her some medicine to help her take a nap and then she would stick a little tube in her ears and then she would wake up and feel so much better.

She burst into tears. Crying, she told me she didn't want to take a nap. She cried for several minutes and all she would tell me is that she didn't want to take a nap! Poor baby, she is so upset about this nap thing. I know the hard part tomorrow will be when they take her away from me. The hard part for both of us. No matter how many times you do it, and how simple the surgery, it's hard when they take your baby away from you!

Five Little Monkeys

2010-03-02T08:42:00.004-05:00

God has blessed me with five amazing and adorable children. It is easy as a parent to get frustrated with our children and get focused on the negative. I want to take a moment and write the great and amazing things about my children.

My oldest boy, Zack, just turned 10. He is amazing. I know I keep using that word, but I just don't know a better one! He is Daddy's mini-me Zack is very bright and thinks non-stop. He is constantly planning and processing and trying to figure the neatest, coolest way to do something. He is a hard worker (when on a task he chooses!) and very thorough. He is a bit of a perfectionist. He marches to the beat of the drum in his head, and on the table, on the desk, on the computer, on his brother's head. His world if filled with sound and noise. He must be listening to or making sound and music at all times. He is already showing natural leadership tendencies. He will do great things for God!

Allison is 8 (and 1/2, don't forget). She is my mini-me. She thinks like I do, acts like I did. She is a constant reminder of my childhood. She is beautiful, sweet, and kind. She is compliant. She desires to please the adults in her world. She loves schoolwork and books. She is learning to sew and draw. She has a heart to serve. Despite her similarities to me, she is so much more than I ever dreamed I would be. God has a hold on her heart and fills her with his love. She will be a super mom and a great wife. She will start her married life in a place that took me years to find. She will be blessed by the Lord for her willingness to serve her family.

My Noah is almost 6! I always call him "my Noah". He is this great mixture of his parents. As much as his older brother is his dad's childhood carbon copy, Noah is his dad's adult carbon copy. He has his dad's "peculiarities". He is laid back and easy going, until he determines something is worth fighting for, then there is no moving him. He's compliant, until you hit his line in the sand. He knows right and wrong and is steadfast about it. He is fiercely devoted to protecting his younger sister. When Rachel is hurt or upset, Noah is there to help her and protect her. There is still something unique inside him that I haven't figured out yet, but I know God has a plan to use this boy for something amazing.

Rachel is recently 4. She is beautiful beyond belief, smart beyond all understanding. I knew my kids were all smart, (what parent doesn't, right) but Rachel has astounded my from the start. She has a deep beauty that shines through her eyes and a brain that excels her beauty. More importantly than either of those, however, she knows God in a way that astounds me daily, even hourly sometimes. She sees God in everything and talks of Him as she does her Daddy. She knows, somehow at this young age, that God is the best Daddy in the world. She loves and adores her earthly Daddy, but also really gets the love of her heavenly Daddy. I learn from her constantly. I can't even begin to guess what God is doing with her, but I know He is working out his plan even now.

Emily is my youngest at 2 and 1/2 going on 5. She is so young that it is hard to have a handle on her personality completely, but she definitely is her own person. She is very bright, repeats everything, and loves people. She is affectionate at her own desire, only gives hugs and kisses when she wants and cannot be coerced otherwise! She is independent and can do it herself. If the other kids can do it, so can she. She is thinker and a world watcher. You might think she's not really paying any attention, but don't bet on that! I am not sure where God is taking her, but I am sure she will be going for a great ride!

It sounds like I am trying to make my kids sound perfect. I know they aren't perfect. I spend way too much time dwelling on their weaknesses. I am learning, however, that strengths and weaknesses are two ends of the same line. That which is a weakness in our lives, is usually a strength in disguise. Our strengths can be our weaknesses. A strong willed child can be raised to be an independent adult who is a great leader. A tender hearted child can be easily manipulated by others. That which we view as strengths and that which we view as weaknesses are just unmanaged character traits. God gives us our character traits. It is our job as parents to raise our children so that their heart is willing to allow God to mold their character for His purposes!

More Sharing the Heart of God

2010-03-01T22:10:00.003-05:00

In my previous post "Sharing the Heart of God," I discussed how we pay forward kindness without expecting any repayment, knowing that others are doing likewise. Last night I saw again how this plays out.

My husband went to help a friend with some computer issues. While there he got a call from another friend who needed help getting his stranded, broken down car home. My darling husband didn't bat an eye and offered to help get the car. After dropping this friend and his car off at home, he stopped and met a third friend to pick up our car that friend number three had taken and repaired.

Isn't it awesome what we can do for others and how God honors and blesses that by putting others in our lives to help us!

Share your stories of how God has used you to bless someone and in turn blessed you through a different person. I am convinced when we think less about ourselves and more about others, it will change the world, at least the small part we live in!

The Writer's Heart

2010-02-22T20:16:00.004-05:00

The written word. It is such an amazing thing. It has such power to convey thoughts, ideas and emotions. It can bring laughter and tears. It can give hope. It can allow people to travel to places and times they never dreamed possible. The written word offers to the reader a great range of experiences and emotions brought to them by the hand of another.

All writing is an interaction of two parties, the author and the audience. The author writes with hopes of conveying thoughts and feelings to the audience. He opens his soul a little, bares his own private thoughts, for better or worse, for the sake of the audience. The audience comes bringing their own set of expectations, bringing their own baggage, thoughts, and ideas as would any participant in any relationship.

When the connection is made, the author hopes he had done a good job of conveying that which he wants the audience to feel or understand. Yet, inevitably, there will be times that the audience, sometimes as a whole but usually as an individual, will come away from the connection with a different view or mood than the author was intending. This can be due to the authors' lack of success at conveying the desired mood or due to the audiences prior baggage. As with any relationship, there is usually more than one party that brings "fault" to the miscommunication. However, at the end of the night, the audience leaves the interaction with their ideas and thoughts on the authors work, and the author is left bare, alone and sometimes hurt by results of his efforts.

When one writes for another to see, he opens a part of himself to another that can never really be closed.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-02-22T20:09:00.003-05:00

Have you ever heard your child say something so cute, so amazing, so downright funny you just had to call and tell someone? I have created a new column of things I have heard my children say and would like to invite you to add your children's comments. Leave a comment here and I will add them to the column! Thanks for your contribution!

Sharing the Heart of God

2010-02-19T06:25:00.004-05:00

I have been accused of a being great many things in my life. Many of them I would not choose to reprint here. I recently have found myself being accused of being, well, selfless. It seems so hard to understand to me. I know me and know just how selfish I can be (as an old country song plays in my head). Yet I have lately had statements similar to the following made to me:

"You are selfless beyond words."
"You are such a good friend."
"You are a so kind."
"You are a saint."
"You are amazing"

I am pretty sure "You are crazy" has been implied, along with some of these statements, but not actually uttered.

Now, I don't say these things to brag about me. I don't actually believe these statements to be completely true (some of them not even slightly true!), except maybe the one about being crazy. So why am I telling you this? Well, the truth is, I think we can all be those things, at times.

I have little to offer in way of helping people. I am a super busy homeschooling mom with 5 kids ages 10-2. I don't have much (if any) extra cash for giving to those in need. I don't have the ability to go to foreign countries and be a missionary and build houses and feed the hungry. I don't have the skill to do a great many things that people need done.

I do have one main skill, ability, resource to offer. I can offer my home and heart (such as it is) to care for the children of friends in need. I have been willing to babysit many friends kids and left them somehow amazed at my willingness. This puzzles me somewhat, and yet I am beginning to see that this is more than a nice thing to do.

A year or so ago, a friend of mine offered to teach my very musically talented child (with a nearly tone deaf mother) piano. I could not pay her normal rates, and yet she was will to just do it for the good of my child and for the kindness to a friend. I felt grateful, and yet unworthy. I wanted to do some great kindness to show her my appreciation. I brought her dinner as some small token of thanks. She simply said she believes in the power of "pay it forward". Wow!

I didn't realize until today, that is is basically what is motivating me to help my friends. I know they may not ever "repay" me with the same amount of childcare or whatever one would consider a "fair" trade, yet I know each of these people have the heart to help others. Each of them helps other people, expecting no return of favor.

Perhaps if we each help the next person when we can, that person can someday help another and so forth, and the world will be much more the place God intends it to be. So for now I will content myself to watch others go out and do glorious works for God, and I will plod along doing the few minor things I can to help out.

2010-02-10T08:34:00.004-05:00

"So come on, let's leave the preschool fingerpainting exercises on Christ and get on with the grand work of art. Grow up in Christ. The basic foundational truths are in place: turning your back on "salvation by self-help" and turning in trust toward God; baptismal instructions; laying on of hands; resurrection of the dead; eternal judgment. God helping us, we'll stay true to all that. But there's so much more. Let's get on with it!" Hebrews 6:1-3 from The Message Bible

Last night in my home a group of friends gathered to have a small bible study. We read this passage. We originally read it in the NIV. A friend suggested we read the interpretation from The Message. I found myself rather impacted by this statement. I wonder, how often do we, the body of Christ as a whole and Christians individually, waste time fingerpainting for Christ instead of using the gifts He has given us to create the grand masterpiece he is calling us to create? Do we content ourselves with fingerpainting, fooling ourselves into thinking it is the highest caliber of art we have to offer. Or are we contenting ourselves with having done some art, when we know others are doing none?

I find myself watching my children and seeing that while I am still fingerpainting, they, even the littlest of them, are busily creating masterpieces of God!

Things you thought you would never say

2010-01-13T16:25:00.003-05:00

I would like your help. I would like comments here with things you found yourself saying as a parent that you thought you never would! I changed my settings so anyone should be able to post.

Comments left may be added to the side bar listing of "Things I never thought I would say!" Can't wait to hear them!

Siblings, Monsters or Friends?

2009-12-15T22:45:00.003-05:00

I have discovered what I believe to be the biggest drawback to homeschooling. No, it's not socialization. My kids get to meet, talk to and interact with a lot of people of all ages. No, the problem is too much together time. You know how your kids start to bicker and gripe at each other after a few days of being couped up in the house. After about four days inside with your brothers and sisters, even the kindest children turn into monster children.

They grow three heads, five horns and their eyes turn red. Fire spits out of their mouths. Their heads spin around backwards. Smoke comes out of their ears. Their voices become like fingernails grating down the proverbial chalkboard. They become little monsters just waiting to pounce on the first poor, unsuspecting sibling to breath in their general direction.

Take that image, multiply it by 365 days, 24 hours a day. Increase it by 5 children. Now you have the image of a large homeschool family in the dead of winter. It's not pretty. It's downright ugly.

Yet, despite that, they seem to be inseparable. They are fiercely devoted to one another. When apart for only an hour they run to each other and hug each other. A few years ago the two oldest were going to an overnight at church. The two youngest were going to grandma's house (number five was but an infant and staying with Mom). They were spending less than 24 hours apart, yet you would have thought they were going to be apart for weeks by the way they were hugging each other and saying their good-byes. When the next year came around, the two oldest were again off to church, only to discover that this year instead of sleeping in the separate rooms in the same building, they would be in different buildings! They were visibly upset. "We've never slept in a different building before!" True. At 7 and 8 years old they had not been apart overnight since the second was born. They weren't consoled that Mommy would be staying with the girls and Daddy would be staying with the boys!

The most touching time came when our five year old (then four) ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. The kids were made several visits during the day, going back and forth to grandmas between visits. When bedtime came, they all were upset. Noah, at the hospital, wanted to call and talk to each sibling and during prayer that night prayed for each one. The kids with Daddy at Grandma's house where crying because they missed their brother. It was a time that really showed me how deeply they care for one another. They take for granted that their brothers and sisters will always be near them. I pray that this continues into their adult lives and that they continue to develop a bond that allows them to forever be the closest of friends.

Shop Til You Drop!

2009-12-14T22:02:00.005-05:00

Oh how I love Christmas shopping! Well, okay, not really. I wouldn't mind Christmas shopping if it weren't for the having to choose part. I have five children. We don't overly spoil them with things and stuff and yet somehow they have stuff. I mean a lot of stuff. I know single children who have more stuff than my collective five, yet still we have too much stuff.

When you have children ranging from 9 to 2 the real problem is that if you don't already own it, or something much like it, you don't want to own it. The little ones are the hardest to buy for, not because they care at all, simply because we already have it all.

The older children get, the more expensive their requests. You begin to feel the struggle between balancing getting the great, if slightly more expensive, gifts for the older kids and getting the little ones things they want but cost much less. My husband and I don't feel pressured to spend the same dollar amount exactly on each child. We don't even keep very close track. We try to have the same number of items to open and one cool "big" gift. Of course our definition of cool isn't nearly that of others.

I have tried different approaches to getting gifts for the children. I have tried giving each a gift certificate to do something they've been begging to do ( buy Build-A-Bear clothes for their animals). One year I had the great idea to find that thing in our child we want to encourage and buy gifts accordingly. That helped tremendously with gift choosing.

This year, however, I am stuck. Gift buyers block I guess. Part of the problem is that we chose a cool gift for the oldest. Now to match that for the other four. Actually, the two and three year-olds will be excited with anything (if we can find anything we don't already own!), so we just need great, exciting gift ideas for an eight year-old girl and a five year-old boy! Feel free to post suggestions if you have them!

Merry Christmas!

Why do you homeschool?

2009-12-11T06:11:00.007-05:00

Today I am going to answer some of the questions and refute some of the often made comments related to homeschooling. People have many reactions to homeschooling, some are supportive, some are disgusted, some are just plain bewildered when they make the following statements:

"Good for you, schools are so dangerous now!"
I do not homeschool because of the "danger" in public schools. After the rash of school shootings many parents became convinced schools are dangerous. We will discuss the true dangers of schools later, but for now understand that I am not worried about my kid getting shot at school.

"They don't learn anything in public schools anymore."
As a former teacher, I hate these reactions. I spent my teaching years working in the school system that my children would now attend, and I have to say I don't think there are many out there that are better. The staff and parents are wonderful. The teachers work hard. They score well on state tests (although frankly that is another can of worms for another day!)

I do not homeschool to try to give my child a "better" education (in the world's eyes). I have worked with many of the teachers that my children would have right now and can tell you without a doubt many of them are far better teachers than I ever will be. Most of them love their students, have taught for years and know every trick in the book. I doubt I could do a better job than most of them.

"At least you are a teacher so you know what you are doing."
It is not easier for me since I am a teacher. In fact I think it may be harder. I have expectations that others do not. I discovered my first year that you can not run a homeschool class of 2 kids like you would run a kindergarten class of 18. It just doesn't work.

Many people operate under the thought that since you have to have a degree to teach in public school, you should have to have a degree to homeschool as well. What I find amusing is that in my state you do not have to have a teaching degree or license to teach in private schools. Funny isn't it. People will spend thousands of dollars on private school tuition to send their kids to a better school, where they don't have to have a teaching license to teach, but think parents aren't qualified to teach their own children.

"What about socialization?"
For those of you that worry about socialization, you can stop worrying now. When my "small group" meets monthly, those 6 families bring 22 kids. Homeschooled children have the great opportunity to interact with children younger, older and their own age. They also learn to interact with adults, not just in a classroom student/teacher situation, but in a group discussion setting. They are more likely to be encouraged to work with adults on projects from cooking dinner to cutting and delivering firewood to a friend in need. Don't you worry about socialization. We socialize more than any group of people you know! Perhaps you should worry more about over-socialization.

"Good for you but I could never do it."
Honestly, we all think that. Sometimes daily. That is when you use your "phone-a-friend" option. And fortunately in the homeschool world, you aren't limited to the number of those you get!

Yet, no matter what reaction I receive from people who first learn that I am homeschooling, nobody ever understands why. Unless that is you happen to homeschool yourself.

So...

"Why do you homeschool?"
If those are not the reasons, then why do I do it? This is a tough one to explain. It begins with the simple answer. I believe God wants me to. I believe that God has placed it in my heart, in the heart of my husband and very clearly models it in the bible. Do I believe God is calling every Christian to homeschool? I believe that is between them and God. I know he has told my family to do this and that is what we stand on.

Now it gets harder to explain. Why would God want you to homeschool? Public school works out for everyone else, besides, wouldn't it be easier? Heck ya! It would be way easier! Until I had to undo the damage done to my children that is. You see, when you send your child away for 8-9 hours a day (depending on bus time) and they sleep 8-9 hours a day you are left with 6-8 hours a day to model for your children what you want them to be become and unmodel what you don't want them to become. Realistically, that time is more like 3-4 hours, maybe.

Let us take an average day in the life of a public school kid. You get up, scarf down some breakfast, get dressed, leave for school by 7:30. You spend all day surrounded by children who don't respect their parents being taught evolution and the big bang as facts, and hearing materialism being worshiped in the form of "Look what Johnny has!" You get home from school at 4:30. You have a snack, and do your homework. You eat dinner at 5:30. After dinner it is a bath, TV time and off to bed at 8:00. That is a perfect ideal world, where nobody is in sports, scouts, piano or band. As a parent, where in there do I have time to show my kids the things I want them to know? Where do I have time to remind them that the big bang is a theory, not a fact? When to I teach them that evolution is a theory that contradicts all of the rest of science, even science supported and believed by the very ones spouting the theory? How do I undo hours of my child hearing the worship of stuff?

You see, I do not want my child to spend the majority of his day in a world that when he comes home, I am going to tell him is wrong. I don't want him to make all of his best friends at school and have to say to him that their behaviors, choices and values are wrong. It isn't a matter of not allowing my child to be friends with kids who are different from us. It is a matter of not allowing my child to believe that everybody else lives their lives differently. I don't want them to feel isolated. If everyone else is doing it, why not us?

I want my kids to know the truth. I want them to know there are many, many people who believe as we do, who walk as we do and who live as we do. They know that not everyone believes in God. They know some kids don't go to church. But for them, that is odd, not the norm. As they get older, they will be more able to handle the fact that the world is big and there are a lot of people who think we are wrong. They will have to make their own choices and live with their decisions. But you cannot tell me that at five years old, when they are still chasing bad guys with their cap guns, they are old enough to begin to make those choices. They are not big enough to defend their hearts from the evil in the world, the evil that seeks to undermine the truth of God's love and parents' authority. Until they are big enough, it is my job to guard their hearts. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

So I guess the answer to why I homeschool is "To guard my children's hearts until they are mature enough to guard it themselves."

Raising Boys Isn't for Sissies!

2009-12-07T17:50:00.004-05:00

I have discovered that I am too much of a girl for raising boys. Yup. I, tomboy, raised in the sticks, can do whatever boys can do, I am too much of a girl for this line of work. My boys remind me, nearly daily, that I can never out think or predict the thoughts of a boy.

Since my oldest boy was probably 5 he has played with an old rusty hatchet. My husband thought that he would have to work awfully hard at cutting himself, so we allowed him to play with it. My boys now, ages 9 and 5 have their own hatchets for helping Daddy with fire wood. Many people think we are nuts for allowing our boys such freedoms, they shouldn't be allowed to use hatchets, own pocket knives or rifles. To tell you the truth, if I were a single parent they wouldn't do any of those things. Not because I disagree with my husband's desire to raise boys into competent, strong, self-assured, adventurous men. Only because I am a girl. Apparently, way more so than I would like to believe.

My boys have done many things to prove to me that I am to much of a girl for this job. My oldest, at age 4ish, climbed a tree and got stuck. Not so unusual, except that we didn't have any trees that a four year-old could reach. The lowest branch was 6 feet off the ground. He dragged a ladder over to the tree, climbed up and got scared and was unable to figure out how to get down. The rule now is you may only climb a tree if you can do so without help. Never thought I'd have to make a tree climbing rule.

Recently I heard "Zachary caught a rat!" being yelled by my children. Unhappy as you can imagine the thought made me, I went to check to discover that in fact he was holding (with my grill tongs) a baby mole. He was beating it on the ground trying to kill it. Gross. I am way too much of a girl.

A few weeks later I hear my five year old saying that he is trying to kill the little animal living in the wood pile. He wants to trap something to kill it and clean it out and make a hat out of its skin. I am such a girl.

Today my boys made a harness. My younger and yet heavy, stocky boy, was rigged up in this harness and his older brother, Mr. Skinny as a rail, was planning to lower him off of the deck. I had to call Daddy. Sometimes a girl just has to call a man when boys are up to their antics!

I am grateful every day that I have a loving, adoring husband who balances out my girliness and helps raise these amazing little creatures called boys. It has long been my motto, women raise boys, men raise men. I know many single moms out there are struggling to raise their boys into men. It's not an easy thing. I encourage you, if you know one of these moms, give her all the support you can and if you know a man who can help mentor these boys, encourage them to do so. Girls just can't do it alone.

Not Brain Surgery

2009-12-01T22:48:00.007-05:00

One of my husband's favorite sayings is "It's not brain surgery". He uses this statement when it comes to all the fix-it jobs he does around the house. "Honey, do you know how to pull a pump out of a well?" "It's not brain surgery." And for the most part he's right. He can pretty well figure out how to fix or do anything. If he doesn't know how, he asks. When he doesn't know the best way to solve an electrical problem in our 100 year old house, he calls an electrician friend. When the car won't run, he calls a mechanic friend. He watches educational shows, surfs the internet in an attempt to gain more knowledge because "You never know when you will need to know how to ____________", fill in the blank.

Recently I found myself wondering why so many people seem completely lost as to how to raise children and I found myself thinking "It's not brain surgery". Now, before you get all angry with me, understand what I am saying, and what I am not. I am not saying good parenting is easy. I am not saying that it isn't a lot of hard work. I am not saying that it doesn't take effort and struggle and tears and prayer. I am just saying it isn't complicated. The basic principles are insanely simple. Truly.

If anyone has ever trained a pet, successfully that is, they can understand the basic premise of parenting. It is child training. The bible says "Train up a child in the way he should go", not hope up a child, not plead up a child but train up a child. We aren't in this to hope that everything turns out well without actually putting in the effort to train. We are here to teach them, train them, lead them, guide them.

I have known many people who were not highly educated, most without college degrees and some without even high school diplomas, who have trained their children well. This proves the point that it doesn't take a high level of education to train children. In fact, every parent trains their child. Unfortunately many do so these days without even know it. Let us look at a couple of scenarios.

Let's start with a dog. Your dog decides to get into your trash. You tell him "no". The dog is more interested in the goodies he smells so he returns to trash digging. You say to the dog "fine, you can get in the trash this time, but no more." Sounds kinda silly doesn't it.

Now let's view this in a child. Your child gets into the cookie jar. You say "no". Your child smells cookies and is undeterred. He returns to the cookie jar and gets into it again. You say "fine, you can have one now, but no more."

Is the dog likely to get into the trash again after being allowed to do so? Of course. He was just trained to ignore his master's "no". He will now be harder to break of the trash habit than if you had persisted with your "no".

What about the child? He also has been trained. He has been trained to ignore his parent's "no". He will get into the cookies again. And each time you tell him no, his unwillingness to obey will get stronger because he now knows, there is a time when your "no" means "okay". And it won't end with cookies.

I know there are days when child training is so hard and so frustrating that you want to quit. I have called a friend and said "I quit!" But I know, as does she, that we have to go headlong back into the battle. When my husband was having trouble getting water from our well, he was frustrated. He wanted to quit. He wanted to say "This is too hard, I don't know what to do next, so we are just going to live without water for the rest of our lives" but he knew that wasn't an option. He called more people, called professionals, talked to friends with experience. That is what we have to do as parents. We need friends with children to give us suggestions, to give us encouragement. We need professionals, teachers, pastors, people with adult children that turned out well. But we cannot just say, "this is too hard, I will let them do what they want!"

My husband and I get so frustrated when we go out in public and see they way children are being trained to behave. We see screaming fits in stores over toys. We hear children tell their parents "no" and not be made to obey. Understand this, if you cannot make a 3 year old obey you, you will have no chance, and no authority with that child when he is 16.

I receive compliments about my five children and their behavior so often that I find myself thinking "If they really think this is good behavior, what must they see normally". That isn't a statement to brag, in fact just the opposite. I will have days where my personal standards are way above that of my children's current behavior and I will hear someone say "Your children are so well behaved." Is that a statement that my expectations are too high, or the world's are too low? Perhaps a little of both.

I think sometimes strangers think I was just naturally blessed with five super well behaved children and therefore I don't know what it is like in the real world. Let me assure you if you don't know me, that is NOT the truth. My children are from a long, long, long line of strong willed people, on both sides. We have perfected stubborn and turned it into an art! We have daily spankings, etc. I once heard a lady at church voice surprise at my three year old receiving a spanking (at church no less). "I've never even seen her do anything to deserve a spanking". I explained that the reason you don't see my children deserve a spanking is because they receive them.

This isn't a "to spank or not to spank" debate. I frankly don't care how you choose to "discourage" bad behavior, but you must. We as parent's have to stop rewarding bad behavior. It encourages it! If you give a kid a cookie for getting into the cookies when you have said "no", you reward the bad behavior!

We train our children every day either by not following our words with actions or by following through with everything we say. We all "Train up a child" but is it in the "way he should go" or is it in the path of destruction?

Happily Ever After

2009-11-23T08:50:00.005-05:00

Today's topic, marriage. What qualifies me to write about marriage? Well, nothing. I am married. But then so are millions of others in this world. I am happily married. I wish I could say the same for all the millions of married people in the world, but unfortunately, I can't. Why do some people have joyful marriages that leave them happier than they could ever imagine, while other people's marriages leave them wondering what they were thinking and wondering what happened to the person they married?

The answer - I just don't know. There it is. All I know on the topic of marriage.

Now, as with most things, I have theories, ideas and thoughts, and dare I say, opinions. Let me begin with my story. I have been married for 13 years. For about half of that I have been married to the most amazing man in the world. He is sweet, funny, smart, and the most fabulous dad in the world. (I could go on but why bore you, just trust me, he's great!) So what happened halfway through our marriage to change my husband into this amazing guy? Nothing. Honestly. Nothing changed him. I changed. I changed how I saw this man and began to remember why I married him. I remembered all the things about him that I thought were so great when we were starry eyed kids in love. He's still the same man. He still has faults (I suppose), but now I don't really look at those things. I look at the amazing things about him and I love him more each day. It is an old saying, but it is true. It is possible to love someone more each day. If you don't, you love is likely to begin to fade rather than grow.

Now, I know. You are thinking that I am in denial. I am blinding myself to the bad things and living in some fantasy world. You think eventually it will all come out, my fantasy world will blow up. It's simply not true. When irritating things happen or my husband does something I didn't like, I get upset. I lose my temper, blow my stack. Sometimes I just tell him I didn't like whatever it was. But, I don't allow those things to make up in my mind about who he is.

Last night I read and interest series of quotations. This pretty well summarizes my theory about marriage.

Arthur Gordon, author of A Touch of Wonder, writes "I have noticed when the going gets rough the partners tend to demonize each other, see nothing good, only the bad. Result is mutual appreciation dies and there's nothing to cushion the shock in quarrels or recriminations. If combattants (sic) would make an effort to recall one or two things they used to admire in their partner and force themselves to say so, however grudgingly,it might save the marriage."
He also writes, "To be manifestly loved, to be openly admired are human needs as basic as breathing. Why, then, wanting them so much ourselves, do we deny them so often to others? Why indeed?"
Becky Freeman, author of Marriage 911, adds "There is no reason, with any solid legs to stand on, for human beings to withhold their admiration from each other. After all, it isn't as if by hoarding our words of praise we are keeping anything of value for ourselves."

I said earlier that my husband hadn't changed. That isn't entirely true. As I changed my view of him, my willingness to see the good more than the bad, he did change. He began to see more good in me. As we began speaking nice things into each others' lives, we began each to see the fruits of those things. Now, because my husband knows how I really feel about him, how great I think he is, he is willing to listen when I have honest complains or concerns. Likewise, now that I don't feel that I couldn't please him no matter what, and I know that he loves me for who I am, craziness and all, I am not so hurt when he needs to tell me things that help me grow.

I challenge you today, think of two reasons you began your relationship with your spouse. Think of two good things about him. Pray about these things, ponder them, and when next you see your spouse, compliment him or her. Say something kind, in a way that he will believe you. And everyday find a way to say something to your spouse that shows him that you do admire (at least something about) him. If you think this is too hard, or won't work ask yourself two questions "Is it harder than living in unhappiness and discontent? and What bad can come of reminding my spouse, and myself, what it is I love(d) about him?"

What do I do now?

2009-11-19T10:15:00.008-05:00

I have read books, heard sermons and listened to friends talk about living your life "on purpose." I have to admit, I really didn't understand. Not really. I understood in theory, just not in practice. In theory it sounds great to live your life on purpose, but how exactly does one do that. Especially when one doesn't know what his or her purpose is.

I had the great privilege of talking with a sweet friend. She is the sort of person that everyone is attracted to, everyone wants to get to know and everyone wants to learn from. From this conversation, I came out with my first realization of living my life on purpose, and what it means.

I am a planner and an organizer. If you know me moderately well, you laugh because my life does not appear to have much in the way of a plan or organization. If you know me really well you laugh hard because you KNOW my life doesn't have much of a plan or any organization. You also know that it is true, I am a planner, I love to organize (people and events that is, not stuff!)

To a person who likes to plan and organize (did I mention control?), if one is going to have a purpose and live life for said purpose, that involves lots of planning for that purpose, organizing events to reflect that purpose. I had no purpose. I couldn't plan or organize to achieve some lofty purpose, because I just didn't see it. A purpose needs to be big, needs to be lofty, needs to be desired by others, right?

I realized today, for the first time, I have been living with a purpose. In my pursuit to find that big purpose, I was missing it. I kept thinking to myself "The only purpose I can see for the next 20 years is training my children." Yet, I was failing to see the true purpose in that. I knew it was enough. It was lofty, important, something many desire to do. Why didn't it seem to be right? Without realizing it, my sweet friend showed me my purpose was more, and apparently, I have been living it without knowing it. Now that I know it, I intend to live it more, well purposefully!

My purpose is beyond raising and training my children. Not that that isn't good enough, but well, it isn't good enough. My purpose is to honor God in all that I do and show His light to my children and the world around me through my relationships, primarily with my family.

I couldn't see why God was doing certain things in my life, good things, but confusing things. I didn't understand what I was to do. If God is doing these things, why me? And what do I do to prepare for what he wants? I now think I finally understand. I need to stop trying to figure out what to do tomorrow, next week, next month. I need to do that which God is calling me to today. That is how he is using me in my little world now, and that is how I will end up in the destination he has called me, and our family, to in the future!

Thank you dear, sweet friend for you ear, your kindness and your heart. And thank you for listening to God's voice and being the model for the life I so desperately wanted to live, but just didn't understand.

Do Not Explore Under My Bed, and Other Loopholes

2009-11-17T17:10:00.006-05:00

Did you know that you should tell your children "You may not explore under my bed," before the children come up with such an idea? How about, "Don't take all the wet wipes out of the package and lay them neatly on the dash of the truck to dry out and become napkins"? It amazes me all of the things I am expected to have told my children before they think to do it. The problem is that I am not as smart as my children. Clearly. I mean, I never even thought to take a brand new, purse pack of 15 wet wipes and carefully lay them out to dry so that we can have napkins. Of course, that may be because we have plenty of napkins and no wet wipes but ...

Then there are, of course, the loopholes. You say "Don't run in the church," only to find them skipping. You didn't say no skipping, Mom. Or "Don't call your sister a meanie head" only to hear them calling her a meanie butt. Children are born loophole seekers and negotiators. They make professional lawyers look like amateurs. If only we could find a way to harness that power for good and not evil!

Many Hands

2009-11-16T19:24:00.010-05:00

Many hands make light work. I realized after putting together a baby shower for a friend this weekend, just how true that statement is. I looked around the room with 40 people gathered to celebrate the exciting and wonderful event. I was amazed to see what had developed from the simple desire held by many women to bless a much deserving friend.

Two months ago I appointed myself in charge of said baby shower. That is how I like to work. I organize other people into having to do all the work! I decided as the self-proclaimed organizer, that I must get all the amazing women that I work with (volunteer with would be a better statement) to do their collective things. I called one friend and assigned her the job of decorating. She immediately accepted the job, delegating much of it to another, incredibly talented friend. We asked the fourth "baby shower committee member" what she wanted and YAY! she wanted to do the food. Immediate agreement was made as to who had to do the cake and she eagerly agreed.

Five women planning and preparing, never actually meeting as a group, were able to pool their talents and create a fabulous shower. No one woman did more than they were capable of. No one woman incurred too much expense so as to burden their load. No one woman carried the stress alone or took the compliments alone.

I have worked with these same women on many, many events and activities and been amazed each time. These beautiful, humble, amazing women have so much talent and love that it pours out in all they do. I am honored to work with them on such events.

My question, how is it possible to see people pull together for a special event and yet so many of us feel so burdened and overwhelmed with our daily lives? Isn't there a way we can help ease each other's burdens in daily life?

To call or not to call - the Dr. that is

2009-11-14T15:41:00.005-05:00

What mom, or dad, has not had the question, "Should I call the doctor or not?" How many of us have called our moms, sisters, best friends, auntie who is a nurse, a gal pal who once knew a nurse, etc. to determine whether the set of symptoms in our child warrants a call to the doctor. Why do we feel uncomfortable wasting the doctor's time, yet presume all of our friends and loved ones would love for us to waste their time to determine whether or not we should waste the doctor's?

Sure, we are busy moms, stay at home moms who don't (stay at home that is). Sure, we don't have time to run to the doctor for no reason. Sure, we don't have time to sit at home and wait for a callback from the nurse. Sure, we think the symptoms "She's cranky and she took a nap today" sound dumb when said aloud to a medical professional.

Yet, I think it is deeper than that. I think that deep down, we all fear going to the doctor and getting the patronizing smile and nod and the "I don't see anything wrong." Or worse yet, "It's just a virus, there is nothing we can do." We don't want to be one of "those" moms. You know, the ones who call the doctor for every sniffle. The one who the nurses see coming and sigh. You know. None of us wants to be her. So we continue to call our friends and loved ones with the question "Should I call the doctor or not?"

Are those all yours?

2009-11-13T06:04:00.004-05:00

I find myself wondering how it is we have come to this place in society. I know the idea was to replace yourself with your children and no more, but really, how did we come to let that idea so over take our world. How did we come to the point of three children is a nice, acceptable number, but four, wow that's A LOT!

People ask me if I always wanted a large family. I'm not really sure. I was the youngest of five, but despite the world even then making it sound so unusual, I didn't really think of us as a large family. Perhaps that is because my father was one of nine children and my mother was one of 11 children. Yes, that's right. I have 18 biological aunts and uncles before you even start counting their spouses. Now that's a big family reunion!

My husband is one of two children. His parents came from families of two and three children. My husband always wanted a lot of kids. When we were dating, he wanted six kids. I wanted two. I don't know that I cared, actually, I just figured two made sense. We agreed upon a nice even four. Now we have five. Who knows, my darling hubby might get his six kids after all!

What really amazes me today is the reaction people have when I am out is public. Why do people think it is perfectly acceptable to make rude comments, in front of my children, about something of no importance to them. I don't go up to people and comment on wearing their pajamas to the store or that perhaps they might want to remember to actually wear more than their underwear in public, yet they will say the most unkind things to us. My favorite is "You know what causes that?" My husband has taken to answering, "Yes, and we are good at it!" If you are going to be rude and crude to us, perhaps we should reply in kind.

You also find the mom with one or two children at the store who says, "I don't know how you do it with five, I can barely handle my two." Usually when that statement is made, it is obvious to all those around that she can barely handle her two. She is usually out of breath from trying to keep them out of things.

Then you get the even more surprising comments like, "What a beautiful family!" "More people should have large families." "You are so blessed." Comments like this are far more frequent than one might believe. Nearly every time I take my children grocery shopping I am stopped by some, usually older, person who admires my children and my family. I am thankful for those people.

Things I never thought I would say

2009-11-11T16:35:00.008-05:00

When I became a parent, many things changed inside me that I never expected. I learned first hand about true, sacrificial love. I developed magnified vision enabling me to see microscopic germs on bathroom door knobs. I developed super hearing allowing me to tune out alarm clocks but awaken to they cry of children rooms away. And I lost the ability to connect logical thought to my words before they come out of my mouth.

For example? Well, the day I uttered the now much remembered phrase "You may not ride your sister!" I realized I had crossed some line, never to return.

Being parents of principle, my husband and I agreed our children would not be allowed to eat french fries until after eating their grease laden hamburgers or nuggets. With the advent of bagged apples at fast food places instead of french fries we found our selves saying "You may not eat your apples until you have eaten your cheeseburger!" What are we thinking?